Played. R&B Amber Alert

It's Friday, you know how I do.... digging in the crates......

"You Been Played", Smooth, 1993 (was on the Menace II Society Soundtrack)
*who doesn't love bad 90's skanky female R&B rappers (I call it Skank & B), why did I remember this entire song? I need intercessory altar call prayer stat.*

Played. Yet another fun word that can be added to the cube lexicon. It means “being made a punk bitch fool of, chumped, or taken advantage of” - among other things. Unfortunately, we have all been in some type of situation that, in hindsight, was part of the game. We were getting bitched played and didn’t know it until it was too late. I got played the day I took an upper management postition and stopped getting paid hourly. Salary is the oldest trick in the dang-on book, as soon as I was on salary 40- hour weeks became 50-55 hour weeks, 5 day weeks became being on-call around the clock, pockets became not much fatter. Foiled . I get fooled into leading projects/teams and I have gotten "title pimped". Foiled again.

Do you have any stories where you were played/pimped at work? How did you handle it?

Gross Incompetence is Gross

* I work at a print company and I will not hesitate to put an order in for one of these signs and hang it around the job. But then again they'd mess that order up. Le sigh.*

I interrupt this day of blogging to bring you a True Hollywood Raleigh/Durham Story via Ignant IM (I needed to vent) (There is a reason it is in Bold red 14 pt, font, read the IM to understand why....):

Alise: girl i am so mad i could spit
T 2U: which devil is at play today?
Alise: must be the real devil
Alise: just hot messes spilling over from yesterday
Alise: the end of the day yesterday I had to really chiggity check myself bc i was so mad

T 2U: do you feel like expounding, or should i wait awhile, till u simmer down
T 2U: ?
Alise: they fucked up.
Alise: got mad at me bc THEY fucked up.
Alise: [/story]
T 2U: gotcha
Alise: naw i gotta tell the whole thing with flavor...
Alise: lol
Alise: Picture this:
Alise: Chilly autumn afternoon at [Alise's job], Inc.
Alise: A gorgeous curly red-haired executive sends out 4 emails to all production departments in red, 14 point, bold, capital letters that says the following:
Alise: (similar to her hair: red and bold... hi-yo)
Alise: The same beautiful striking executive with flawless makeup and eye makeup precision to die for tells each production manager face to face (she is thourough and sh*t) about the issue with the checks and confirms that they did read the email.
Alise: The impecably coiffed stunner leaves for the day thinking everything was Peach E. Keen.
Alise: The glamorous account manager returns on Tuesday morning gracing the building with the sunshine that is her beauty. She resends the email and gets a read recipt that everyone received and even mentions this in passing to the wandering managers in the building
Alise: then at 4:30, a manager comes to Alise in Schleprock fashion, rain cloud and all, to ask "Are the checks still on hold?"
Alise: Alise holds back the snarkiness that is running through her brilliant mind....
Alise: and utters.... "uhhhhhhh, yeah"
Alise: Manager says, "Oh, we mailed them this morning..."
Alise: thunder rolls, waves crash, lightening strikes
Alise: that was how my day went
T 2U: dang!

That is all, had to get that off my bosom. Peace. Goodwill towards women. (Go read Tiha's blog right before this one. God bless good afternoon)

When I was a child I was a finicky eater, there wasn’t much I would eat outside of pizza and spaghetti. When I was commanded to eat my vegetables I would strategically divide them up and push them around on my plate in hopes of fooling the man (mom) into thinking I had eaten that one bite that could possibly save my life one day. No matter how much I separated those veggies, pushed them up next to the meat or made a really small pile in the corner of my plate, the man (mom) was never fooled. She knew no bites had been taken and that it was still the same pile of veggies, nothing subtracted, nothing changed, just dispersed a little.

While working for the state, I’ve seen my share of reorgs and restructuring, and I could swear they solved absolutely nothing. No, I take that back, the most they accomplished, outside of pissing people off and firing folks, is to make room for more unqualified, socially inept people to become managers. Yes that’s what reorg accomplishes. It just moves the pile of crap from on section to another, disperses the crap even further throughout the org and gives the illusion of something being done. And is anyone fooled? Certainly not I.

My Ignorance

Yesterday I had a conversation with an ignorant person, not ignorant like skin head want to assassinate a presidential nominee and kill 88 and 13 black people to prove a point ignorant, but more in lacking knowledge of a particular subject kind of ignorant. The guy I had the conversation with was explaining how since he had never known about the world outside of his city or state, and that many of his friends didn’t know much about it either, he was unsure of what was out there for him. His ignorance on this matter lead him to get out of where he was and explore. Many of his friends weren’t driven in the same way though, they decided to stay put for fear of the unknown. Since he left his city of origin, he landed someplace that he really likes and is totally in love with what he’s found and how different it is from what he has known. However, in his description of where he was from I could still hear the limitation and ignorance of what else his old city had to offer, and of course since I’m an outsider looking in, with no emotional ties to his birth city, I can see a whole lot more positive things.

This conversation lead me to think about my own ignorance and what I do to combat it. I’m ignorant to the different kinds of work environments and jobs out there in the world (yes this is the tie in to the cube). I’ve worked for the state, a couple of states, since 2001, this is all I know about work environments, office politics, and the machine. My perception is definitely skewed. However, when I search for other jobs or a way out, I have no idea where to look because I don’t really know what else is out there. I know in theory what’s out there, but nothing concrete. If I wanted to find another state job, well I know the ins and out of that kind of search, as well as having the networking ability to get to someone on the inside. My knowledge outside of the state cube is extremely limited (my knowledge of retail is high too, but I’m not trying to go there either).

So to combat this I try to listen to the experiences of people outside of the cube. Real life experiences of people who are really living it. However, my supply of such people is limited. Can anyone out there share their story of life outside of the miserable cube? A cool job you have or had? A different perspective than the cube? Help me end my ignorance.

* Sometimes lightbulb moments happen like this.*

T 2U: Never let your dilemma define you
T 2U: would you like to blog on that subject for today?
Alise: sure....

Well, nothing ignant about that IM, we talk about some things of substance from time to time. According to probability it is bound to happen. With that being said; Tiha wrote a blog over at Artistic or Just Plain Crazy today about inspiration (read it to understand the post a little better) . The particular inspiration she was speaking of was about those bad or strange things that happen to you that can turn into something that inspires or "kicks you in the butt" to accomplish your dreams. (Damn, that was the run-on sentence from Hell). So today I will get a little personal and delve into a situation that changed my world.... for the better in the long run.

Here's my sobbish story:
Picture this: Morrisville, NC and leaving work at about 5:45 pm, excited about the Poetry Slam Finals going down a little later that evening. The first part of the drive I am reciting one last poem that I was stuck on memorizing. I finally get it right. Sweet! So, I am driving along listening to Little Brother's Mick Boogie Mixtape jamming to "Never Leave" and screaming "Krispy Kreme will never leave the street!" (I am silly and so is Little Brother).

Soooooooooooo, I get off on my intended exit , 540 East to Hwy. 70 to go to the crib and change clothes to be fly for the performance that evening. This was a special night because:

* I made it to the finals
* Friends who had never seen me perform before were coming out
* I hadn't been performing regularly so this was exciting

Well, I stop at getting off at that exit because that is all I remember. I woke up in an ambulance. (Thinking it was dream) Lose conciousness. Wake up in ER. Then the wittiest, most Alise-ish thing in the world happened (I had to throw this in here):

When they brought me in ,my friend who was in the emergency/trauma room with me said that the doctor was explaining my injuries to me and says, "Oh yes, you have multiple contusions on your lungs, a contusion is.....", My friend said right at that moment I cut him off and said, "I know what a fucking contusion is, went to college!", and that the doctors and nurses laughed, and she said at that moment she knew that I was going to be alright bc she got a glimmer of my personality even though I was in pain.....

Lose conciousness again. Wake up in hospital bed with the following: broken ribs, cracked sternum, hella bruises, bruised lungs, 2 black eyes, and broken spirit (and upset because I didn't get to go perform, lol) . Well after a week long stint in the hospital, I go home, but I must recover at home for a month (Thank you Hay-Seuss for short-term disability). Due to financial reasons I make the decision to move back home with Mom Dukes and have been forced to do a Brand Nubian and slooooooooow down...

The result:
* Gained time to reevaluate where my life was going
* Facing possible death opens your eyes to a lot of *ish
* If I wouldn't have slowed down I would have possibly missed out on getting to know a fabulous human being who has touched my world in a million ways.
* Probably would have been no blog
* Able to repair a 29 year tense difficult relationship with my mother
* Oh yeah and I got hella savings in the worst financial time of our lifetimes
* The accident must have knocked some creative lever back into gear, because I have been a writing machine as of late!

So basically, I give thanks to the hard lessons, because with hard headed folks like myself, sometimes that is the only way to make us take notice.

It’s Monday which means meetings, meetings, putting out other people’s fires, and more meetings. We apologize for the delay in a Monday morning post. The real world is calling us, and clicking the off button is just not enough. :(

Naturally Alise says: But I will infuse some positivity into this sucky morning by convincing myself letting you know that it'll be alright. Enjoy the video below:

A Friendly Friday Roast....

*Let me infuse some positivity back into the blog with this video since Tiha aka The Moody Gremlin is on her furloughed Friday adventure and I have back control of the blog.

Okay, now to the negativity, lol..... Since Tiha is gone today I shall take this day to roast my good ol' buddy ol' pal... The many faces of Tiha, a retrospect in pictures:

*All week my partner in (c)rhyme has been Schleprock...

*Under normal circumstances she can usually pull off this act.

*But the cube has caused the real "gremlin in Gizmo's clothing" to pop out on the regular:

*She has been ranting and raving:

*Making faces at small children (well the people at her job who have brains of small children)

*And encouraging my conspiracy theories:

T 2U: they be monitoring what we type
T 2U: always watching , conspiracy
Alise: you know what else is a conspiracy?
Alise: those discount cards from the grocery store and other places
T 2U: i know where this is going
T 2U: but please continue
Alise: they have all your buying habits logged in a system
Alise: along with name
Alise: address
Alise: phone number
Alise: and demographics
T 2U: just great
Alise: then add to that library cards
Alise: myspace
Alise: blogger
Alise: and itunes (i just randomly threw that in, lol)
T 2U: they didn't have to tattoo the bar codes to us
simultaneously:T 2U: we carry them willingly on our key chains Alise: we carry them on our keychains
Alise: dang sick minds think alike
T 2U: dammit
T 2U: the brand new heavies be delivering the hits
T 2U: always
Alise: that was a random ass artist mention.... ???

Have a great Friday everyone!!!

*dude, i'm sitting right here... -tiha

1. When I have on my headphones and people try to talk to me. If I don’t have the common courtesy to take them off when you approach me, I probably don’t have the desire to hear anything you have to say.

2. When I’m really concentrating hard at work to design and people are standing around having loud, long conversations. Genius at work, shut the f* up! And all they’re talking about is how stupid they are because they couldn’t figure something out and how they had to come to my section to begin with.

3. When ignorant a** people try to sound intellectual and smart. At no time is it ok to refer to a deadly disease as “The Aids”. Especially if you used to be a healthcare provider.

And this concludes my rendition of what really grinds my gears*. Thank you.

The Moody Gremlin

*the Grind my Gears originator Luvvie

Dear Moody Gremlin,
This is my solution to all of the things that grind your gears:

1. Do like the below video and make them folks think you are crazy:

2. Do like the above video and make them folks think you are crazy
3. Throat punch.* *

Alise aka The Unicorn Wrangler

**Shouts to miss-t-lee

Oh, the places Tiha wants to leave!

Yesterday my partner in (c)rhyme wrote a wonderfully positive piece about the places she would like to go. Today, as the moody gremlin, I would like to share my perspective on all the reasons I would like to leave the south. Be prepared, this ain't no happy blog, so hold on tight while I take you to the dark side of the moon.

(10/21/08, 7:58 am)
Alise : good morning and shit
T 2U : early morning at the office does not mix well with you, lmao
Alise: no, it gives me flashbacks to when i used to do 70 hour weeks
Alise : and i am so not a morning person
Alise : grrrrrrr
T 2U : awww poor thang
Alise : but i aint no punk i'll be alright
T 2U : and you worked last night right?
Alise : i did work last night, if you want to call it working
Alise : last night was a bullshit night if i ever did see one
T 2U : i liked your blog. it was so positive. i'm going to have to postpone my dark evil blog for another day
T 2U : let your blog shine and shit

Alise : hee hee
Alise : but on the real though, why Lupe Fiasco get to fly to work on a Pegasus, but I gotta ride to work on a pheasant???
Alise : why he get the mythical creature and i get the real animal with the dumb name ???
Alise : ok i am shutting up ....
T 2U : because he followed his dream and reached up out of the box
T 2U : you still in a box
T 2U : so you get a pheasant
Alise : oh... , nice way to brigthen my day**
*that is a pheasant below, looks dumb doesn't it?:

** Tiha is evil and must be destroyed

As the quasi quintessential roaming gnome, I’ve lived a few places in my life. I grew up in Boston, born and raised Yankee through and through. I got my degrees in North Carolina, spent about 10 years there, and I’ve been an official grown up here in Atlanta (had the big 30 bday and everything). But as with any good thing, it must end, and so goes my time in the South. The South has its charm, any southerner can attest to that. There are things that attracted me to the South, things that I wasn’t getting back home in NE (new england). However, there are things that I can no longer tolerate or flat out cant stand about the south, and after living here for over 10 years, I’m ready to go! So here is my list of reasons why I hate the south (I can hear the southern drawls already, bout to cuss me out in their slow drawn out way, twangs thumping against my eardrum making my teeth itch. I’m sorry country bumpkins, but enough is enough, this mess ain't cute anymore):

Why I hate the south (and gotta get the heck out!)

• bassackwards thinking is not progressive enough for me
• they never run out of light bulbs because there is a surplus of unused ideas
• people deathly afraid of change and progress
• minds so small and narrow a dime couldn’t squeeze through it
• the charm short lived
• the accents are short lived, its just not cute to me anymore
• being made aware of my color and how my color defines me aggravates me
• stepping outside of said definition or stereotype bites me in the butt every time
• afraid to eat fried chicken and watermelon in public, I’m so serious
• big a** bugs
• no insulation in the houses! yes I do have an issue with non insulated houses, especially when we are all trying to conserve and stuff. But that just goes back to the new ideas and change type thing. A hundred reasons why NOT to move forward.
• I’m so afraid to leave the city limits because of the country folks I might meet beyond the bright lights.
• white folks scare me down here
• doing “white things” are frowned upon by black folks doing nothing…hmmm
• I get called weird for doing things different, sometimes doing things logical…I’m not weird, just progressive, and not southern
• lack of cultural diversity
• should I even talk about the flag hanging high by the side that lost…..

I’m sure a few things on the list are universal, I’m sure stupid is stupid no matter where I go, but since this list is bashing the south, I gotta throw it in there. This is my rant, this is my rave, it could have been a whole lot longer, but I think I’ll keep it short and sweet. Enjoy!

Oh, The Places Alise Will Go!

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!, by Dr. Seuss

Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know...........
(Click to see the poem in its entirety)

Okay, somebody* told me that i should put my dreams, wants, desires, etc. into the universe, so today I will take a semi-break from complaining and being ornery and put out some positive vibes and sh*t..... (Sorry, I can't help it) Miss Tiha, aka T-Money and I had a convo yesterday about where we wanted to go. I'm not talking about goal wise or the abstract, but actually what cities or regions we want to go to. I do know one thing is for sure: As long as I am unhappy with my longitude & latitude I will continue to be stunted. I live in Durham, NC. I grew up here, went to school here, spent my adult life here, it is definitely time to try something else. No better time than the present. Something drastic, interesting, life altering. Just. Something. Else. So here is a short list of places I am looking at. Actually before I give you the proposed list that let me tell you a very important thing that I am looking for in a destination: it must have a vibrant art scene... poetry, visual arts, theatre, etc.... (I also love nature, so that is always a plus) Also, I don't really want to do the south**. So these are some ideas I am tossing around, please give feedback if you are familiar with any of these places and know some pros/cons, or maybe some suggestions. Also, are there any of you looking for some new life scenery?

  • Chicago
  • Seattle
  • New York City
  • San Diego
  • Mars***

* I'm not sure who "somebody" is but I think it is someone related to"they"
**reasons why to be visited in a future blog
*** Hey, I think I could relate to Martians especially if McCain wins, if
Lupe Fiasco can ride to work on a Pegasus, then I can live on Mars.....okay I am shutting up now.

****Thanks Elliot for the indirect roaming inspiration :)

How I spent my furlough Friday.

I’m back from the weekend and furlough Friday to report on what happens in the world while we are in our 9-5 cubes. I went to early voting to perform my civic duty, yay me! And how about I spent 2 ½ HOURS waiting in line, in the rain, just to EARLY VOTE. I mean really? I went Friday morning thinking that hey it’s a work day, not a holiday for anyone but me, and its early voting right? Apparently many many many people have flexible schedules where they can just show up and sacrifice 2 ½ hours of their life to stand in the rain to vote. Apparently everyone in my county got civic minded at the same time and decided to show up and do the damn thing. Now, although I like to surround myself with intelligent people, and it reassures me to know that I live in a county full of geniuses such as myself (great minds think alike), I still don’t think it was genius that brought us all there, at the same time, on the same day, in the rain, for 2 ½ hours.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m all geeked up at the turn out for early voting, proud of the people, yada yada yada, but damn that was a discouraging 2 ½ hours that I spent in the rain on that Friday morning. My dang candidate better freaking win…*cough cough!

*yeah I took it back with this pic

Anyone else have an early voting experience they’d like to share?

Congratulations, I suppose.....

"Congratulations", Vesta Wlliams

This post and video goes out out to two people who made it out of the cubicle , I am jealous, but still happy for them. The first is a manager at my job (a pretty good manager who got the life sucked out of him and ended up being a shitty manager) who found his dream job and peaced us out with a 1 week notice, he is my hero, pour out a little tap water for him.... the other is my favoritest (yes, i am tired of telling y'all this is a word in my world,a delusional world, but a world nonetheless) wandering poet in the world, who really said fuck it and went and embarked on a journey to fulfill his dreams, and who can really be mad at that? So to them I say "Congratulations, I wish it could have been me" (....but will be soon, sooner than you guys think.... did you think Operation Shawshank was on hold? Au contraire mon frere.... stay tuned)

*Please read and respond to yesterday's post, I really thought it was the shit but no one responded... *pout*, (sometimes I have delusions of grandeur, but you need those dangit)

Help Wanted @ CC:IR Headquarters

*That's how I found Tiha ...

*How Tiha found me, still waiting for my check though....

I decided to have a little fun today. I imagined what the help wanted ad for my job would look like if it told the truth .... here is what it would say:

WANTED: above average employee to work for mediocre hellish (dis)organization. must be mentally equipped to enter a war zone in which the battle is futile. must be an avid meeting attender and scheduler. Benefits include mediocre at best health benefits with ridiculous coinsurance rates, flexible working hours (you'll be on call 24/7) and holiday bonuses (a Christmas and Thanksgiving potluck). those with self esteem, hope, dreams, and aspirations for greatness need not apply. Those with acute mental illness and illicit drug use will get first consideration. EOE.

What would your job's truthful want-ad say?
(I can't wait to see Tiha's and you guys ads, come participate, it's fun and everybody cool is doing it *wink*)

[Tiha Update]

Wanted: a backwards thinker who is efficient in
inefficiency. Candidate must have a worker bee/drone mentality, have the inability to make decisions on their own, but be able to make decisions in the place of leaderless leadership. Candidate should never question authority and be prepared to take the blame and all of the repercussions when things go wrong. Qualifications/Education: Must possess the highest degree possible for this position, number of years of experience do not matter, your knowledge will be minimalized at every chance. Those with integrity, pride in work, ability to be an independent thinker need not apply. Pay/Compensation: The ability to wear a badge with our seal on it should be enough, at least you will have a job. If this ad makes perfect sense to you then please apply immediately.

Okay, Miss Tiha went and chopped all of her hair off, too.... and this conversation and poem were born:

T 2U :i have a swirling vent about hair
T 2U : about other people's attachment to my hair
Alise: ditto
Alise: "I am not my hair "
Alise: "But I am this foot up yo' ass "
Alise: that is my poem
Alise: thank you, thank you very much
Alise: jackson height's own Randy Watson
Alise: that girl is good!
T 2U : i so didnt get that song until now
T 2U : i'm going to etch out a few bars on it, cuz i gotta get this off my chest
Alise: word, i got some bars too
Alise: someone told me yesterday i could wear my hair short because I had "good hair", i almost vomitted on that person
T 2U : grittting teeth
Alise: dont do that, bc u r your teeth
T 2U : ha!
T 2U : ok aol radio decides it wants to play "i am not my hair"
T 2U : how cute
Alise: cosmic signals and shit

*this rant in no way signifies that we are some angry black women with conspiracy dreams...we were born angry dreamers.
We wrote a poem about it, wanna hear it, here it go.....

Ode to the short natural
I got face baby
but better than that
I got personality
I got a shine
to blind
your mind
to take away
offense and disgrace
I got words
for you birds
to carry to your nest
I got thoughts
tied into knots
for all those who forgot
I got confidence
in everything I do
and confidently I say to you
I got no hair for you to stare
but I got face
look at my grace
I got personality
that makes me gritty
I got shine
to illuminate your mind
and I got words
so now you’ve heard
and by the way I am not my hair
But I am this foot up yo' ass
I am no cookie cutter
But I will cut ya
Just like I cut my hair
So mind ya business,
I'm cute dammit.
-Tiha & Naturally Alise 2008

*Before, After, and "after-after" (perm, locs, short natural) .... all cute, all the same silly b*tch, all different states of hair, nuff said.......

Revolution for/against My People* - Repost

I will post a blog today that was one of my favorites that came to mind today that Tiha(eysqueen) wrote....I think it should get another chance to shine, hope you enjoy, also please check out Tiha's guest blog (Mon.) and my guest blog (Tues.) over at Luvvie's Random Rants.

originally posted 8.18.08
*lighten up, written in jest

After doing research on Che Guevara I’m feeling revolution minded. Guevara saw many injustices done to his people, and in trying to help them, he became a soldier for the people. Although his tactics were rather violent and aggressive, the total opposite of great civil rights leaders as MLK, I completely feel his idealism. This leads me to want to start my own revolution for my people, with the enemy being my people. I’m tired of seeing all the injustices we do to ourselves, and being calm and rational about it just isn’t getting results. I want to pull out some guerilla warfare on the community. I want to set up schools in the back of liquor stores and churches, so that no matter where the righteous or drunk my go, they can find the knowledge. I want to rob the black wealthy and give the money in the urban programs that provide extra education, food, and activities for the inner city youth who have nothing better to do with their time. I want to ship guys in prison from Attica to military schools and camps, so I can strengthen my army while showing folks another way, an outlet for all that pent up frustration and anger. I want to furlough the celebrities and make them do community service on the days they don’t get paid, make them earn their role model status, because regardless of whether or not you see yourself as a role model, that’s what our youth see you as and you have a responsibility to them to ACT RIGHT! I want to take the uppidity set of negroes and bring them back to where they are from and teach them that you don’t ever look down upon your own people, we are all we got. I want to overpay our teachers, social services folks, cops and emergency medical people. They save our lives everyday, they deserve it. And once I’m done tearing down all the ghettos and rebuilding the community, educating the people, feeding the people, working on the self esteem of the people, employing the people, and whooping the ass of anyone who tries to stop me, I’ll retire on an island, populated by NONE of my people. You negroes wear me out…

Ojos verdes...

[UPDATE: Tiha is guest blogging today over at Luvvie's Random Rants, go check it out....funny stuff....]

(Ojos verdes= green eyes in Spanish)
Well I have to work this wonderful Monday morning while Miss Tiha with her good gub'ment job is chilling or some sh*t. I ain't bitter/jealous/hating/IM lonely or anything like that. *pout*

Well my eyes are green because I eat a lot of vegetables, that's my story and I am sticking to it, let Erykah tell it:

Any-hoo, speaking of my irrational hating on Tiha jealousy, I wanted to touch on jealousy in the workplace. IS green your color? When the green-eyed monster strikes, there is no telling what you are capable of doing to the person you are envious of. Why do we get jealous? Is it a good thing? Can we successfully use our our jealous streak to strive to be better and, in the process, work harder to get whatever we want?

They Experts say that professional jealousy comes with the profession ... any profession. The basic problem we face with professional jealousy is the extent to which it affects our psyche and the influence it has on others. Normal jealously is acceptable. It is OK for you to feel envious about your peer’s success or promotion and how well she has done if you can say, “I am happy she’s made it. I hope it's my turn the next time.” But look at all the negative emotions that can come into play. Being jealous makes you unhappy. It makes you bitter, miserable and just like my coworkers, irrational. (A hater in a nutshell)

Professional jealousy is common in the workplace. It may happen in the best of environments, where people have planned career paths and yet many get intercepted or sabotaged without the opportunity to go up the ladder. When people get left behind, think of the reactions we see. (Crabs in a barrel basically) It does not matter where you work. You could be a smart, hardworking executive who is liked by the boss but are not popular with the rest of your peers. Or you could be an excellent leader, with the vision and ideas on how to get things done but you find people sabotaging your efforts. Can professional jealousy be managed? In mature corporate organizations, leaders of teams will tell you that it is possible. The remedy basically is that we should have “self-discipline,” pursue a high ideal in life and be devoted to the profession for its own sake, but picture that with a Kodak (side-eye).

So I ask y'all (Because I value your opinions, y'all family & sh*t!): When everyone is working for corporate success and some of us are not so lucky, how do we get over the envy we feel (or directed towards us) and move on to bettering ourselves?

Leaders of the New School.....

One thing that I have found lacking in the cube that is just as lacking in the "real world" is original thought and trendsetting. I meet so many cookie-cutter cutouts, clones, robots, androids, the Borg, automatons, boring motherfuckers, and sheep. I don't want to fall into any of those descriptors. I want to be a trendsetter, a leader, and even more awesome than I currently am, dangit! (oh yes, that is possible, I know that is hard to believe.....) And leaving the cube within the next year (or less) is the only way I can be sure that I don't become a cog in the machine*. I really think the world is ready for an unfiltered, raw, fa├žade -free Alise, and even if they ain't here I come! Get ready! And while you get ready, read this convo and the video and have a fantabulous, wonderific, greatacular Friday!

*The machine makes me laugh because of this "Family Guy" quote:
Chris: All right Dad! Fight the machine!

Alise: ok, someone is about to catch hell off of some misdirected anger
Alise: about the hair thing
Alise: I am like people I only cut it
Alise: this feels like the same disguised hate when i started my locs
Alise: someone just caught an earful on messenger
Alise: well I guess that would be an eye-full, lol
T 2U: i'm afraid to ask: whatd they say?
Alise: Oh my god what have you done, blah blah blah
Alise: but kept on talking about it after the initial answer, I don’t mind people asking or talking about it, but I have had some people be mean about it
Alise: it don’t make me any less Alise
T 2U: eyes rolling hard
Alise: i hate people
T 2U: i told someone " its hair, not money, i don’t need to save it"
Alise: and this is from folks that ain’t talked to me in eons
T 2U: lol!
T 2U: so they really have no say
T 2U: its not easy being at the forefront of a movement
T2U: people love u for being a trend setter, then once they get on board they hate you for leaving
T 2U: but leaders of the new school can’t stay with the old school if they are true leaders
Alise: very good grasshopper.

"Sobb Story", Leaders of the New School (Hey Tiha they have one of your jeeps you love in the video! lol)

Power? You Tripping!

Tiha: What are we gonna do tonight Alise?
Alise: The same thing we do every night, Tiha, try to take over the world.

Sometimes I have a moment that starts off bad at work that miraculously morphs into a great moment or epiphany or some sh*t. Well, I had reconfirmation of my arrogance greatness, and even got a little tipsy with power for a wrinkle in time. (You’ll see that in the IM at the end of the post). Hey at least I wasn’t drunk with spirits from Alise’s Liquor Incense and Sh*t Emporium (ALISE). *tee hee* All of this nonsense and Luvvie type of 'ignance' to bring up this random topic: What infuriating or comical examples of power tripping have you seen in the workplace?

We haven’t done an IM transcript in a hot minute!
10/7/08 – 10:20 am.

Alise: i am on a conference call........blahhhhhhhhhh
Alise: that i have to actually participate on
T 2U: so how you talking to me when you supposed to be listening to them?
Alise: i got skills
Alise: multi tasking bi-atch
Alise: multi-slacking
Alise: oh my god these people are so dumb, they have asked me 10 variations of the same f*cking question, geez louise
T 2U: you not telling them what they want to hear?
Alise: i am just giving them facts and figures
Alise: fucking [customer name omitted to protect the innocent guilty] are so unorganized
Alise: now i just f*cked them up and put a monkey wrench in their whole project by pointing out a huge detail they omitted!
Alise: NOW this is way too fun
Alise: i love the conference calls when i am the knowledge master!
Alise: obey me!
T 2U: lol, clearly drunk with power
T 2U: whats that like?
Alise: i wish it was liquor, but it aint a bad high
T2U: ha!

*Taking it back!" "The Power", Snap*

*Poetry selection from Tiha*

Meditating Endlessly about my Horizons
because the view at ground level sucks
I’m too close to the manmade earth
which is made up mainly of mistakes and rocks.
I’ve taken to tugging on my hair
to relieve all this anxiety I have built up inside
in school I believe they said it’s a disorder
anxious obsession that I know is felt countrywide.
I have no sense of control
but what I sense isn’t too good
in fact its keeping me with bald patches on my head
and my eyes rolled up looking like a crackhead in the hood.
If drugs were an option
I’d be smacking my arm right now
but my youth has already taught me
that short term is not an option, not for me anyhow.
So I keep my eyes on the horizon
my mind floating amongst the clouds
keeping my dreams alive and safe
and protecting my goals underground.

*Note from Naturally Alise: Her poem was so hot that I dare not touch it, so below I will post the Cubicle Crusaders favorite poem by Nikki Giovanni, because it captures how we have been feeling as of late and has invigorated our journey!*

revolutionary dreams
i used to dream militant
dreams of taking
over america to show
these white folks how it should be done
i used to dream radical dreams
of blowing everyone away with my perceptive powers
of correct analysis
i even used to think i'd be the one
to stop the riot and negotiate the peace
then i awoke and dug
that if i dreamed natural
dreams of being a natural
woman doing what a woman
does when she's natural
i would have a revolution

-nikki giovanni
About a month ago I started writing a short story (When Inspiration Kicks you in the Face.) on this blog. I've continued this story on my personal blog, so please check it out and read about what happens next to the little black girl:

your's truly Eysqueen

I’ve had some real good conversations with a few former high school classmates. We went to a prep school that tried to mold us into future CEOs, doctors, and lawyers. Our futures were planned out for us, we were going to make a lot of money and rule the world. My parents made me go to this school, a school for the smartest brats in Boston, so that I would have a chance for a bright future, so that I could get the heck out of Boston and be somebody. I do not fault my parents for wanting the best for their lil genius. I don’t really fault anyone in this blog (just society, dammit.). So anyway, in talking with my classmates I found some…patterns worth noting.

One is an engineer that works on all kinds of systems, deep deep tech stuff. I asked him what he really wanted to do, if he could do anything. He said he wanted to be a songwriter and is going to take a music theories class :)

Another classmate received a degree in mechanical engineering and he currently lives in L.A. and is a banging photographer (

Yet another classmate lives in Cali as well and is an actress.

Your’s truly is steeped in technology but is bubbling over with so much creativity its falling out all over the place, my memos sound like poetry, my signature looks like a Picasso cubism piece, my thoughts are movie trailers (yes I’m seriously patting myself on the back right now).

All of this right brained creativity had been bottled up to make way for left brained anarchy. I’m pointing the finger at society for suggesting that making a living with the right brain is not as honorable or profitable as using the left brain. I’m pointing 4 fingers back at myself for letting the adults in my life dictate my path and for not taking hold of my life when I was old enough to make it what I wanted it to be. I understand that people make decisions for us, with our best interests in mind, but that doesn’t mean those decisions are written in stone, or that we are helpless to make changes. I’ve spent 30 years strengthening both sides of my brain, ya girl is dangerous, and now its time to unleash it. Isn’t this election all about Change too? Yes we can! and yes, I can.

Let’s not be the killers of our own dreams.

I decided to have a little fun today so I will tell you about my day yesterday in the cube through pictures, music, and dance.... enjoy (blame the Hip Hop Honors...), the blog idea was inspired by The Goodie Bag )

Well it was one of those days not much to do in the cube. A slow day, nice! I can catch up on my blog reading and writing and I have a million things to tell Tiha via IM before my first meeting..... but just as i ease into my seemingly good day in steps the village office idiot. He has 21 questions and they all about me ... so in other words he is all in my business. Y'all already know my feelings on fraternization in the cube, so you know i don't just be chatting it up with just any-old-body. So I am thoroughly irritated.

Well little did this cat know that Naturally Alise is not in the mood to be messed with but he decides to keep pestering me anyway, like Jay-Z says, "It's like a full time job trying not kill ni**as. Got ready to be like Andre 3000 and Big Boi and drop bows on his head Bombs Over Baghdad.

My first impulse was to run up on him and do a Rambo.... but I thought about them bills and the economy, So instead, I chilled.... (skip to 0:30 of the video)

Couldn't let him get the best of me. Never that!

So I sat there politely and faked a smille as I daydreamed about my future office:

All of this before 10:00 am. this is going to be a long day. be continued......One love blog family!
* Tiha preparing for another day in the rat sheep hamster race, don't want to pull a muscle*

As I muddle through my day to day hamster wheel of an existence, I begin to reflect on how the heck I ended up here, what I have learned, and what things I will NOT repeat in the future. One of the things I think about are my previous bosses and how much they pissed me off, or enlightened me and if race or gender had anything to do with it.

The White Male Boss (yeah I put him first, get over it): My experiences with this boss have mostly been good. Whether they were my age or older, they pretty much treated me well. They were very straight forward with me, and I never had to wonder about them taking something I said or did personally and vice versa. They have also always been available for references. I give these guys a Thumbs up.

The Black Male Boss: My experiences with this boss have been mostly positive as well. These guys have taken on a mentor, father, big brother figure with me in most (not all, totally excluding my most recent experience), instances. They have taken me under their wing, shown me more than I ever wanted to know about the job, encouraged me, inspired me and most of all believed in me when I was suffering from a serious case of self doubt. Getting misty eyed just thinking about them. I’m still cool with these guys, and they are always around for a reference. I give these guys a super Thumbs up.

The Black Female Boss: I must say that with this group, I cant think of one negative experience I’ve had with them. I hear a lot about friction and fighting in the workplace with my associates and their bosses, but I haven’t had such an experience. The black women I’ve worked for have all been cool. They immediately, almost jumping out of their seats couldn’t wait to mold me into little versions of themselves, and since I admired them and really strived to be a professional in my field, as they were, I absorbed EVERYTHING they had to teach me. Even the ones I didn’t work directly for were always looking out for me. Fixed my clothes when I showed up looking raggedy, gave me motherly advice when I wanted to put the smackdown on a coworker or other higher up. I give these gals a Thumbs up.

The Young White Female Boss: I’ve had a few of these, and most were cool. Most of the time it turned into a partnership, “lets not F-up together” and it worked out well. Thumbs up.

The Older White Female Boss (yes I’ve saved the rant for last): EVERY experience I’ve had with this type of boss, from an entry level position, to a professional position (degree in hand), has been a serious problem. Working for older white women has seriously jaded how I deal with them as a whole. These women have made it their mission, for whatever reason, to cause me such anguish that I’ve had to seek counseling. I’m going to sound real paranoid, but I don’t care, they have it out for me. I cant even begin to describe some of the petty and reputation destroying things these women have done to me. They take things real personal, then try to passive aggressively get back at me. I’ve been cussed out for something real simple like not eating lunch with them. I think the main problem as that I see through their fake ass exterior, that whole smile in your face bull crap that I don’t have time for. I do not react to their syrupy sweet approach to placating me, I’m only there to do my job, I could care less about your personal crises. I refuse to kiss up to a dumb ass, and once I’ve discovered you’re an idiot, I tend to not listen, in a respectful manner of course, to the stupid shit you say and do my job as it is supposed to be done. I don’t even wave the “I told you so” flag when they mess something up and I have to go back and fix it, working overtime and all that. I just do, because that’s my job. And still they give me grief. My partner can cosign on my trials and tribulations with this kind of boss, she’s been just an IM away from one incident to the next. This boss gets a SUPER Thumbs down.

So what does all this mean as far as race and gender in the workplace? Beats me, all I know is what I’ve seen, patterns and circumstances. Men like attractive women, so I get mild bullshit from them. I’d work for a man anytime ;) Women who lack in confidence are easily intimidated. Make no mistake, I’m about the biz when I go to work and I’m dedicated and I actually give a shit about what I do, so I can see how that kind of focus can be intimidating. In conclusion, the kid really needs to work for herself.

What are some of your experiences with race and gender in the workplace?

i cut my 4 year old locs off. that is all.
back to your regularly scheduled programming.
see y'all tomorrow!

Music Playlist at

Dream Killers: wanted dead or alive.

*Sometimes they are hard to point out, lol*

They have so many names: dream killers, haters, hecklers, Debbie downers, doubters, misanthropes, personally I like punk bitches, but I digress I suppose.... Those folks that rain on your parade at every chance, the ones you want to "throat punch" (shouts to mis-t-lee over at When discussing topics such as yesterday's inspiration boards, they say that the idea is corny. You say you are going back to school, they tell you all the cons instead of pointing the obvious plethora of pros. they tell you that you are dreaming too big and say shit like you can't make a living being a spoken word poet instead of putting their head together with yours to plan a grand hustle to make it work.

I really hate giving them air time, but the point of even mentioning these scums of the Earth people is to warn you to be careful of these characters. They are sneaky little punks that blend in with their surroundings, hating chameleons if you will, but talk about something positive going on in your life and they reveal themselves. I implore all of you to remove these people from your life as soon as you detect their depressing, low self-esteem having selves, because they are very contagious, and that is not the nasty woman's disease that you want to get, ya dig?... if they are family, just don't discuss your plans to them, just let their green-eyed a$$es gaze at you when you really blow up, that is the best defense. check out what MC Lyte has to say below (you know we do it old school on Friday):

*Anything those dream killers say is paper thin..... just chit-chatter*

*IM Alert* Random Thursday Soliloquies

*Please do not panic, no sheep coworkers were harmed in the writing of these IM's*

*We'll keep you awake entertained a little more than this, maybefor sure!.....*

Okay just because it is Random Thursday, I had to throw some utter foolishness on the blog, I'm silly, sue me...

Alise : did you catch my message yesterday about this damn computer screen of mine at work ?
Alise : on my screen here that banner i made for El looks like shit
Alise : but at home on the fancy shmancy laptop it looks all professional
Alise : it is a metaphor for this job
Alise : or analogy or some shit
Alise : so i think it is some subliminal symbolic silly shit telling my ass that @ home and and that beach picture will be my future office
Alise : (alliteration)
Alise (poets rock!)
T 2U : lol, ok!

and later at the Cube Factory...........

T 2U : they try to make me feel like i'm an idiot
T 2U : but i know i'm not stupid
T 2U : i totally understand why people do the bare minimum at work
T 2U : ok, one of the things that helps me de stress at work is watching stupid pet videos
T 2U : here is one:
Alise: LOL!

Bye y'all!!!!!!!

Howdy Cubers and Cubernistas! Well after a pretty sucky day at work, and a sucky/sad day in real life yesterday, I decided I will kick off Thursday with inspiration and coolness. Because yesterday I was really on a Cypress Hill (...bc I Could Just Kill a Man) type of kick towards then end of the day. So, in the interest of not getting 25 to life, I figured I need something to lift my spirits. Then I thought of something I read in the Gettogetha blog a little while ago about making inspiration boards. Click the link, they are pretty cool. I think this is a great idea, and it will accomplish a few things:

  • Decorate the Cube cell and keep me out of a real cell.

  • Project! (I love projects as long as it's not of the housing variety)

  • Constant reminder of what I am trying to accomplish...

  • Since I am a visual alien/person/learner it will hit me harder than just saying my dreams out loud.

Here are a few pictures and things i may add to my board:

*Marc Marcel, one of the most hustling, getting it poet/spoken word artists out there, I really look up to this cat.*

*I want to at some point teach English*

*I want to hit mad stages, word!*

*I already am! (Had to plug myself a little bit)*

*I want to write lots of books. edit lots of books, read lots of books, be in books, you get the picture....* :)

*I told y'all before this is my dream office*

Y'all get the picture? I am going to make an acual board over the weekend and take pictures for you guys to see. So family, (that's how I think of our readers)what would go on your inspiration board?

Poetry Wednesday: Project:Roam

OK, today me and T-Boogie have no blog in us, but we want to shout out our favorite soon to be wandering poet, who is embarking on a fabulous voyage tomorrow. So visit his site Project:Roam, and check out his awesome project and subscribe or follow the blog to be part of something great. Here is his latest poem below... We'll back tomorrow for Random Thursday and sh*t!!!

Where's the revolution?

ask us

First generation to be worst off than their parents

financially, the corporate and social ladder pulled up from above

Lower rungs made slippery with a mixture of oil and blood

Too abstract? How this

We enter the workforce with more debt on our backs

than we can ever pay back

You have to pay for power

Power comes from knowledge

You have to win the Power Ball to afford college

Power to the people!


Brown Vs. Board didn't abolish separate but equal

You go to school in your district

which is populate with your kind of people

How many billionaires live in your hood?

How many kids with a choice go to public instead of private schools

Poor people try to separate by race but their all equal

Middle class separates by gates but are all equal

Rich people separate by their money's dates but are all evil, equal

But between those 3 lines

there is no equal

Power lines don't just direct current - see

They separate people

-Elliot Axiom