Oh, the places Tiha wants to leave!

Yesterday my partner in (c)rhyme wrote a wonderfully positive piece about the places she would like to go. Today, as the moody gremlin, I would like to share my perspective on all the reasons I would like to leave the south. Be prepared, this ain't no happy blog, so hold on tight while I take you to the dark side of the moon.

(10/21/08, 7:58 am)
Alise : good morning and shit
T 2U : early morning at the office does not mix well with you, lmao
Alise: no, it gives me flashbacks to when i used to do 70 hour weeks
Alise : and i am so not a morning person
Alise : grrrrrrr
T 2U : awww poor thang
Alise : but i aint no punk i'll be alright
T 2U : and you worked last night right?
Alise : i did work last night, if you want to call it working
Alise : last night was a bullshit night if i ever did see one
T 2U : i liked your blog. it was so positive. i'm going to have to postpone my dark evil blog for another day
T 2U : let your blog shine and shit

Alise : hee hee
Alise : but on the real though, why Lupe Fiasco get to fly to work on a Pegasus, but I gotta ride to work on a pheasant???
Alise : why he get the mythical creature and i get the real animal with the dumb name ???
Alise : ok i am shutting up ....
T 2U : because he followed his dream and reached up out of the box
T 2U : you still in a box
T 2U : so you get a pheasant
Alise : oh... , nice way to brigthen my day**
*that is a pheasant below, looks dumb doesn't it?:

** Tiha is evil and must be destroyed

As the quasi quintessential roaming gnome, I’ve lived a few places in my life. I grew up in Boston, born and raised Yankee through and through. I got my degrees in North Carolina, spent about 10 years there, and I’ve been an official grown up here in Atlanta (had the big 30 bday and everything). But as with any good thing, it must end, and so goes my time in the South. The South has its charm, any southerner can attest to that. There are things that attracted me to the South, things that I wasn’t getting back home in NE (new england). However, there are things that I can no longer tolerate or flat out cant stand about the south, and after living here for over 10 years, I’m ready to go! So here is my list of reasons why I hate the south (I can hear the southern drawls already, bout to cuss me out in their slow drawn out way, twangs thumping against my eardrum making my teeth itch. I’m sorry country bumpkins, but enough is enough, this mess ain't cute anymore):

Why I hate the south (and gotta get the heck out!)

• bassackwards thinking is not progressive enough for me
• they never run out of light bulbs because there is a surplus of unused ideas
• people deathly afraid of change and progress
• minds so small and narrow a dime couldn’t squeeze through it
• the charm short lived
• the accents are short lived, its just not cute to me anymore
• being made aware of my color and how my color defines me aggravates me
• stepping outside of said definition or stereotype bites me in the butt every time
• afraid to eat fried chicken and watermelon in public, I’m so serious
• big a** bugs
• no insulation in the houses! yes I do have an issue with non insulated houses, especially when we are all trying to conserve and stuff. But that just goes back to the new ideas and change type thing. A hundred reasons why NOT to move forward.
• I’m so afraid to leave the city limits because of the country folks I might meet beyond the bright lights.
• white folks scare me down here
• doing “white things” are frowned upon by black folks doing nothing…hmmm
• I get called weird for doing things different, sometimes doing things logical…I’m not weird, just progressive, and not southern
• lack of cultural diversity
• should I even talk about the flag hanging high by the side that lost…..

I’m sure a few things on the list are universal, I’m sure stupid is stupid no matter where I go, but since this list is bashing the south, I gotta throw it in there. This is my rant, this is my rave, it could have been a whole lot longer, but I think I’ll keep it short and sweet. Enjoy!

4 comment(s) thus far...:

Anonymous said...

Remind me not to ever talk to you on the phone!

NaturallyAlise said...

that's why I only do IM's with Tiha aka The Moody Gremlin, lol!

Moni~ said...

Well, this list wasn't so bad. I was expecting to be pissed off and angry.

And if you are going to talk about Southern accents then I shall continue talking trash about that Bahston accent of yours.

(you can pronounce the r and sh*t)

The Pretty Brown Girl said...

Come to DC...we're kinda in the middle. All the best of the south and the north. You won't stand out here since this is a city full of transplants anyway. I'm a native here. That's damn near like seeing a unicorn n' shyt.