Cubespeak: Meetings

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them. (Word!)

Cubicle Crusaders hate meetings like we hate Aristocrat swill liquor, Jim Jones (shouts to, and papercuts. Meetings were earlier defined in your handy CCIR Cubespeak dictionary/glossary as: a designated time and place for idiots to boast their stupidity (idiots need soapboxes too). And we were so sin-surrrrr... (shouts to Threats).

Let me tell you how the DAILY 9:30 am production meeting goes: everyone finally shows up at 9:40, I am impatient (but virtuous*), so by then I either show my disgust through rolling my eyes non-verbal communication or just leaving. But let's just say I decide to stay, the meeting starts with discssing the stats of all the upcoming, current, and late jobs, the prodction management (full of unearned pride**) is never prepared, this is what I don't understand, you are doing the work, why do you not know the status of the things you are doing? I am an account manager with hundreds of jobs/projects floating around in my head, and I remember all of them PLUS how to do their jobs, so why can't they? So then after we spend 15 more minutes trudging through the painful job updates someone goes off on a tangent about smething that does not concern the whole group. Please take that shit offline somewhere, all of their inane conversation and nonsense is cutting into my blog reading time***, geez.... (Jumping off of my soapbox, the air is thin up here and I got COPD, asthma, and shit.......) So to our semi-faithful readers (lol) tell us about your meetings or how you cope with it all?

Go Team!
*patience: In his Devil's Dictionary Ambrose Bierce describes patience as 'a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue'.
manager (except me): an idiot with *unearned pride
*** ...cutting into my blog time...


T 2U: i also want a cookie for not telling my boss to his face he was stupid
Alise: you get a cupcake for that shit
T 2U: had to bite my tongue, literally
T 2U: and i just said that the concept didnt align for its purpose
Alise: nice !
T 2U: but if course u know he didnt get it
T 2U: lol
Alise: that's how stupid works
Alise: so stupid that you dont know someone is calling you stupid

T 2U: ha!
T 2U: so true
T 2U: and then after all that, he cut into my blogging time
T 2U: and thats just wrong

Now this is a cool ass meeting! CMB! CMB!:

Should crazy people be allowed to vote?

If you have to be deemed competent in order to stand trial, should that same criteria be used to vote? Am I taking this too far? Maybe, but I don’t care.
I will admit that when the democratic nomination race was tight, and it looked like Obama was losing, I was upset, and yes I was bad mouthing Clinton like nobody’s business. However, I did not start out backing Obama, in fact Clinton had my full support for a while, a long while. Then I looked at what everyone had to say, what everyone had to offer, McCain included (I am not with any political party, in fact I HATE politics and a little piece of me is dying as I type this political commentary), and I made my educated decision. So when it looked like Clinton was going to take the nomination I was disappointed. I contemplated not voting, and then I got over it. I made up my mind that no matter who got the nomination, I was going to vote for the person I felt would do the best job. Pride swallowed and everything. That is a glimpse into a rational (most of the time) mind.

But at what point is someone being irrational? What is the first red flag, the first indication? Does it go something like this:

Now this is just a mildly irrational reaction. We all know there are more people with way more irrational thoughts. So should these people, who have taken the presidential race sooo personal that they would regress and throw a tantrum to beat all tantrums and act out of spite, just to get their point across, should these unbalanced voters keep their right to vote? Are they competent enough to vote? Can they make the voting ballot in the shape of a paddle and reality check everyone as they step into the polls? Can we double tax everyone who can vote when they DON’T vote?

Lyrical Snitches?/Hip Hop Amber Alert

*I'm a straight up menace geaah !

T 2U: happy friday!
Alise: what up?!
T 2U: i'm ready to go home
Alise: working on something:
I'm a punk-ass Poet Hot on the page,
but not in the streets
I am analytical and critical
So, yeah, I'm a hater
I call shenannigans on nonsensical bullshit...
I wonder do lyrical snitches get stiches?

T 2U: lyrical snitches, HA!
T 2U: if you do it lyrically you get deemed as a poet and philosopher
T 2U: street snitches get beat down

Alise: Will I speak up , and get beat down
Will keeping it real go wrong?
T 2U: keep going*
Alise: I'm thinking
T 2U: think harder
Alise: I am imaginative and use my poetic license ,So I guess I'm a faker, a perpetraitor i suppose
T 2U: fake ass license
Alise: I'm riding dirty
T 2U: on lyrical 22s
T 2U: 22 bars
T 2U: ha ha

Alise: that's gangsta, you a straight up menace fool!

This is your Georgia rooted cubicle crusader reporting from the field (my cube). I’m here, in an antibiotic haze, dutifully giving my commentary on this day of randomness and peace. I am convinced that Georgia is trying to kill me. You’re probably wondering how an entire state, who could care less about some lil black girl, be conspiring to kill me? Well this is how, (mind you I’m still hopped up on decongestant and antibiotics) I’ve been struck down, once again, by some crazy sinus throat infection type shit. This shit is so special that they had to send my culture away to a super lab and have it tested 3 ways south before giving me my results. I’m still waiting. In the meantime, I’m to take our super bacteria killing antibiotics, for something they cant identify, and a thick, red matte colored cough syrup, that doesn’t stop my cough. All of this really sounds like I have a cold, and I perhaps should not have gone to urgent care like I did, however, let me take you back to the last time Georgia put a sneak attack on me. Long story short, I almost went toxic on…the icky stuff our body tries to push out of our noses. I was put on the wrong kind of antibiotics and had a sweet case of vertigo. A sista lost quite a few pounds during that time in her life. I no longer wait shit out. And as sinus related infection go, I’m still groggy, still cloudy, still disoriented, and I’m surprised I’m able to type this stuff up. Tomorrow is going to be funny when I read this and am like wtf? And now I’ve completely lost track of my point.

Time to hit submit!

Revolutionize Deez, Part II

*I am convinced Tiha is just sick in the head, I don't believe her, she needs more people.

Well today my partner in (C)Rhyme is "sick"*... boo hoo and sh*t.... so we can't do a collaboration poem, so I will post up one of my few angry/revolution pieces of personal poetry and a throwback IM convo to hopefully keep all 9 of you entertained (lol)....

the end of a conversation about regrets, do-overs, and sh*t.....

T 2U: can't live in the past with the coulda woulda shouldas
T 2U: dammmit
T 2U: i stil cant help kicking myself
T 2U: had i just beleived in myself back then i coulda went far
Alise: Just think about what you can, will, and shall do
T 2U: this is what happens to a dream deferred
Alise: but think about it.... it is deferred not defeated... so suck that sh*t up pimpin'
T 2U: yeah not defeated by far
T 2U: just deferred, lol
"Revolution Deferred"
That dream deferred explodes,
But that makes me wonder…

What happens to freedom fighting deferred?
It allows for here and now bondage to abound
What happens to revolution deferred?
It allows the revolving door of regression to spin at full force….
What happens to acceptance deferred?
It divides us further, and we continue to be conquered
What happens to self love deferred?
It lets hate sneak like a thief in the night to infiltrate us all.

Putting off the fight, puts us in a predicament that potentially puts our souls on oppression's chopping block,
Waiting to wage war on the world's ills is letting massa’ wield his whip once again.
Silence is settling for suffering..
Indifference is an invitation for injustice
And you are just giving your RSVP for destruction.
Don't be scared to fight…
Be scared of what will happen if you don't.
Don't raise your right fist and scream black power.
Open that hand and grab what is rightfully yours.
Don't kick yourself in self pity about what ya shoulda woulda coulda did
Kick down doors with self empowerment and do what you shall, will, and can do

The revolution ain't televised, but the regression is…
So lets not focus on "entertainment",
Don't entertain the notions of ignorance,
If you don't watch it, it will fail
But if you don't keep your eyes on the prize, that too will fail.
If you don't listen to the absurdities on the airwaves, radio will fail
The enemy wants your ears on the nice bass lines and catchy hooks
They don't want you to keep your ear to the ground….
So listen up because ignorance ain't bliss….
Defer the revolution no longer..............

Office Culture

Today's cube speak word/topic of the day is 'office culture'.

Office culture is the social context in which work and other interactions take place. It's "the way things get done around here," in other words. It's the on-the-ground expression of the values, routines, and practices that govern not just work (the way policies and procedures do), but the interactions that people have while they're working....

My major office culture dynamics that irk me to no end are:

* The " this is how we have always done it" office, Le sigh. Yeah, and people that look like me used to be slaves too, but they decided to switch that sh*t up eventually too..

* The Micro-managed office Nothing is worse than an idiotic despot over the shoulder watching and dictating your every move but then asking you for a 'task list' like you are in 4th grade .... Trust your employee, why would you hire someone that you didn't trust to do the job anyway???

* The estrogen filled office - This is by far the worst of all the offices (sorry fellow chicks) because 9 times out of 10 a female boss along with her fellow henchman the other female support staff are über-bitches... (I love the word über because of the umlaut... sorry I am very distractable/random/special ed) And I understand the bitchiness to a point because you have to prove yourself to your male counterparts, blah blah, blah, but understanding it does not make it more tolerable at all. period.

What office cutural behavior/dynamics bother you or are you a part of?

Tales from the Cube- Is irony ever funny?

I’ve been having a particularly ironic time at for the past few weeks. Let me start off by defining what I do: I design online courses for the staff at this shit hole work. I also want to state that I love what I do, honestly. Ok those disclaimers are out of the way. Lately there has been talk of budget cuts and layoffs, real world pink slip type stuff going on around here. People are freaking out, left and right and people are pretty tense and stressed. I’m stressed too, but not entirely about a potential lay off, I’m more stressed because of the shitty toxic environment that my creative soul is forced to produce from. Its like trying to roll down a street in a box. And that’s just the summed up version of my experience here. IRONY ALERT: So amidst the chaos and stress, I’ve been tasked with creating an online course called “Stress Management”. This course contains information relating to stress, mainly job stress, and how to cope with it. This course was specifically requested because of the high level of stress everyone is feeling.

So I’m gritting my teeth every day, trying not to dismember my Mr. Potato head boss. I’m trying to take pride in what I do (because I love it) meanwhile living through the crap steps I’ve written into the course. All the while thinking, does this shit really work? And surprise, surprise, it actually freaking does! It’s kind of crappy that I had to learn this stuff and do it while making it suitable for the staff, but let me tell you, deep breathing, visualizations, going for a walk, journaling (blogging), exercising, cutting back on caffeine, talking about it, all does help alleviate job stress. They help to cope with the things I cannot change, and they’ve kept my coworkers and administration safe from my angry black girl wrath.

The shit still isn’t funny though.

*Tiha's boss

T 2U: and talking to my boss is like talking to mr potato
Alise: pull his eye out, punch it, and then put it back in
T 2U: that's exactly what i was going to do when i went in to the

Boundaries & Hip-Hop Amber Alert...

This is the Hip-Hop Amber Alert for this week from your good friends at CCIR. Anyone who remembers this song are my new best friends, oh and best believe that is quite an honor.... any-hoo this song thrust the word boundaries into my brain, and that random-full-circled me to the lack of boundaries in the workplace, so enjoy my ramblings on the topic.

“Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your
right to choices.”

-Gerard Manley Hopkins

Let's talk about something that has had me irritated about the Cube world, and just the world in general, and that is people crossing boundaries. the concept of “personal space” seems to be so foreign to the co-drones I have the displeasure of suffering working with 40+ hours a week. There are dozens of ways to do this, let's explore...

  • Physically impinging on others (this does not have to be touching to be bad), I can't stand the 'hover-er' person, don't surround me like a vulture, I know this job is killing my soul, but I ain't dead yet!
  • Spreading your crap out so it limits the space available to others, please keep your crap containes in your cell cube
  • Talking excessively loudly about your pathetic life (or lack thereof), I already knew you were pathetic and now you open your mouth and remove all doubt.
  • Having an obnoxious ring tone. Individuality is all well and good but you can hardly expect others to respect your individuality if it involves them being battered by it.
  • Sending forwards to my work email is not hot in the streets, therefore is not hot in the cube!

So if you exhibit any of these behaviors, please check yourself or i will be forced to thrash you... what are some boundary-crossing behaviors that happen at your workplace?

I've Got Work To Do!

CCIR Agenda :
Monday - 'The Revolution Will Be Blogged', brought to you by Tiha
Tuesday - 'Cube Speak' selections, brought to you by Naturally Alise
Wednesday - Poetry Collaboration
Thursday - ....randomness/day of peace
Friday- Hip-Hop/R & B Amber Alert w/ commentary

Okay all official business out of the way. Here is some randomness with a random conversation and video.....


Alise: this day sucks
Alise: Did I tell you I got a part time job too?
T 2U: i thought you were supposed to be healing
T 2U: what u doing working extra?

Alise: hard headed
Alise: and on a paper chase
T 2U: sheesh
T 2U: you better be resting in between all that
T 2U: so what you doing part time? hooking?
Alise: i wish, then I could make my own hours, lol

I go to work bitches! Enjoy!

*Big Daddy Kane on "The Arsenio Hall Show!

Poetry Wednesday - "Where's the Love?"

"Ni**a, Respect the game. That should be it, what you eat don't make me sh*t. Where's the love?"

Just another collabo brought to you by the good people at CCIR....... (poems every Wednesday)

Forehead flat from banging it against the wall in the face of misconstrued thoughts and sentiments.
“you bitches just don’t understand!”
Screamed from the mouth of an adult teenager
Becoming accustomed to the angst that is her life.
Labeled as observer
Only participating in her mind
Talents coveted
Potential hidden
Recognition recognizing the prize that is her

But the masses
The lemmings
Are oblivious to what IT is that she IS that she has
And who she’s always been.
Tortured by her greatness,
But grateful to have something that makes her special
And if the result is miscomprehension
Then she’ll take hers on the side, next to her genius,
Because the only applause she really needs comes from within.

And when she clap she stands even taller
Because her brillance requires ovations
And your unappreciation does not lead to her depreciation
She is not deterred by your attempted dream defecation
(your sh*t does not affect her)

Cubicle Glossary, 'Cubespeak' if you will

cubicle, noun
1. breeding ground for contempt
2. cage for guerillas
3. cage for gorillas

meeting, noun
a designated time and place for idiots to boast their stupidity (idiots need soapboxes too)

promotion, noun.
more work and title extension for less pay

manager , noun i guess
an idiot with *unearned pride


T 2U: any new fantasmic poems in the works?
T 2U: i'm going to need you to produce more and faster (mimicking my boss and the establishment)
T 2U: (feeling stupid like my boss and the establishment, but too full of unearned pride to admit it)
Alise: ha, unearned pride
T 2U: can you even have unearned pride?
Alise: yes, it is called those pretensious folks living a lie
T 2U: ha! well when u put it like that
T 2U: and remind me why it goes before the fall
Alise: wait wait.... wiki pedia says: Pride goes before a fall is a paraphrase of an ancient Hebrew proverb, designed to warn that pride will often cause one to fall or fail. Another variant on this quotation is Pride comes before the fall.
Alise: good ol' interweb
T 2U: pride will often cause one to fall or fail
T 2U: makes sense
T 2U: too much pride that is
Alise: pride generally covers a multitude of sins

furlough (alt. sp. fur-looooow) , noun
little people taking the bullet for big-wig
idioacy [syn. bullshit]

raise, noun.
a yearly increase far below inflation [syn. bullshit]

Cubicle Crusaders, super-duper-noun
1. wolves in business-cassual attire
2. Time bombs with teeth
3. Cool ass gals (or guys) biding their time until the revolution [i.e. Tiha & Naturally Alise.... and maybe YOU]
Don’t you hate it when you’re at the usual Monday morning staff meeting, and the resident “technical support” person starts to jabber ambiguously trying to answer a question from their totally tech clueless supervisor? I know I hate it. It’s like listening to someone verbally chase their tale, and because they throw in a few long or abbreviated technical terms, its supposed to all be meaningful. Meanwhile I’m sitting there with my non-tech bullshit babel fish chip in my ear, constantly confirming what I already know is true, they aint talking about shit! Mondays suck…

Por ejemplo (for example):
Alise: yo
T 2U: hidey ho
Alise: how goes it?
T 2U: down the hole
T 2U: how bout u?

Alise: I just died and went to acronym Hell
Alise: I had one of those technical meetings
T 2U: a mtg about GUIs and LAN/WAN for the COO who cant figure out how to use the wsywg
Alise: HA!
*lighten up, written in jest

After doing research on Che Guevara I’m feeling revolution minded. Guevara saw many injustices done to his people, and in trying to help them, he became a soldier for the people. Although his tactics were rather violent and aggressive, the total opposite of great civil rights leaders as MLK, I completely feel his idealism. This leads me to want to start my own revolution for my people, with the enemy being my people. I’m tired of seeing all the injustices we do to ourselves, and being calm and rational about it just isn’t getting results. I want to pull out some guerilla warfare on the community. I want to set up schools in the back of liquor stores and churches, so that no matter where the righteous or drunk my go, they can find the knowledge. I want to rob the black wealthy and give the money in the urban programs that provide extra education, food, and activities for the inner city youth who have nothing better to do with their time. I want to ship guys in prison from Attica to military schools and camps, so I can strengthen my army while showing folks another way, an outlet for all that pent up frustration and anger. I want to furlough the celebrities and make them do community service on the days they don’t get paid, make them earn their role model status, because regardless of whether or not you see yourself as a role model, that’s what our youth see you as and you have a responsibility to them to ACT RIGHT! I want to take the uppidity set of negroes and bring them back to where they are from and teach them that you don’t ever look down upon your own people, we are all we got. I want to overpay our teachers, social services folks, cops and emergency medical people. They save our lives everyday, they deserve it. And once I’m done tearing down all the ghettos and rebuilding the community, educating the people, feeding the people, working on the self esteem of the people, employing the people, and whooping the ass of anyone who tries to stop me, I’ll retire on an island, populated by NONE of my people. You negroes wear me out…

Hair Raising!

Naturally alise here, with a hair bulletin/update... i cut my locs... not off but short, that's all...

Revolutionize Deez

IM from 1/8/2007, I just thought it was funny so I am sharing it with my adoring public, all both of the 2 of them.... lol

T 2U : happy monday
Alise : yeah yeah yeah
Alise : monday scmonday
T 2U : lol
T 2U :turn that frown upside down
T 2U : u finish ur revolutionary poem yet? i posted mines on myspace
T 2U : where the hell is urs?
Alise : in my back pocket bitch
Alise : revolutionize deez
T 2U : and when the fbi jacks me up, i'm going to tell them thats where all our plans are
T 2U : in yo back pocket

Alise : it is code.... I aint even got no pockets... aha
Alise : you think I am stupid, I know I'm being watched
T 2U : direct tv, am i watching it......
Alise : or is it watching me? *
T2U: lol
*Shouts out to Jilly from Philly
** Dedicated to my Che Guevera researching friend T2U in her gorilla suit, yes I called you a monkey, now go revolutionize that!

A blast from the past:

Negrobola, et. al.

Visual aids and explanations to guide you through the latest installment of Ignant IM's:

...Negrobola personified ...

*Click here to find source of random quote

**Click for an example of myspace fuckery

***Alston & Angier = the hood (Not the rap hood, but the real hood (c)Jay-Z)

Ok, I think now you are ready!

Alise: oh ok, random quote* from a blog that had me in stitches: "I think fuckery might have evolved into an airborne virus, and it is messing with everyone’s psyche."
T 2U: group psychosis?
T 2U: lol
T 2U: the fuckery virus

Alise: precisely!
Alise: Negrobola
Alise: It has an 18 year incubation period
Alise: whatever that means, it just sounded fancy... lol
T 2U: that means your a full blown idiot just in time to be old enough to vote
Alise: And they will never cure Negrobola, just find a way to let you live with it
Alise: bc as C. Rock says 'the money's in the medicine'
Alise: Sometimes I feel like we are a Tuskegee experiment
Alise: Maybe some Robitussin will knock it out... lol
T 2U: Robitussin cures everything
Alise: ...... or some castor oil
T 2U: oooweeeeee casta oil
Alise: lol
T 2U: what is the difference between myspace and facebook?
Alise: facebook is not as obnoxious
Alise: ....BUT
Alise: it's getting there
Alise: and I hardly use myspace now that I have been doing the blogger crack
T 2U: do you think blogging will kill myspace?
Alise: naw, myspace is like
T 2U: not a pretty comparison
T 2U: lol
T 2U: roaches on my space

Alise: no, myspace is the roach
Alise: surviving nuclear wars and shit
Alise: and also is dirty and annoying and shit
Alise: thrives off of filth and fuckery
Alise: I think it is a carrier of the Negrobola virus
T 2U: i have not been to this seedy side of myspace**, that u describe so vividly
T 2U: lol

Alise: oh you lucky sheltered one
Alise: Well it is on the corner of Alston & Angier Ave***.
T 2U: hA!

IM Hating is fun!

The below short conversation was sparked by a series of blogs that I find hillarious called Crunk & Disorderly and Beyonceitis

Check them out! Hateration is fun when it is creative! woo hoo! Have a great day y'all!

-naturally alise

Alise (8/12/2008 1:34:14 PM): I read a blog that called Beyonce's 'House of Dereon' clothing line 'Lady Fubu', lol
T 2U (8/12/2008 2:05:40 PM): woow
T 2U (8/12/2008 2:05:48 PM): are they calling it knock off designer
T 2U (8/12/2008 2:05:53 PM): for coloreds
Alise (8/12/2008 2:05:56 PM): it made me chuckle, being a Be'yawn'ce hater and all
T 2U (8/12/2008 2:06:18 PM): lol

A pimp named Alice

Alise: i think i sprained my wrist or something
Alise: it hurts like a bitch
Alise: maybe it is carpal tunnel ????
Alise: i dont know the symptoms of it though

T 2U: what the heck were you doing? break dancing?

Alise: naw, just smacking hos
Alise: you know, the usual

T 2U: ahh yes, the usual

(Another Tiha/Alise Colabo for dat ass......)

Hypocritical US always on their high white horse
Pointing syringes, I mean fingers and aiming nuclear weapons
Government dope feinds
With no righteous vein in sight
Do anything for a dollar
Just to squander
.....on instant gratification
...and long term suffering
12-steps aint working
The United States of Arrogance can't get past step 1
Admitting the problem
And their pride cushions all their faults
But even they can't make the destruction any more comfy
......Wittless leadership pacified by heroin dreams

Alise: ...Just say no
T 2U: just say no to the american dream!
Alise: I like that....

(She might kill me for posting this one, but it is hillarious)

Link to the article we were discussing: Obama's Sidekick Pick

After reading our convo go check the article out for yourself and tell me what ya think!


Naturally Alise

(T2U actually should have read the rest of the article though, it wasn't thaaaaat bad, BUT some of his earlier stuff sucked ass...) here goes:

T 2U: did u read the article about Obama picking a sidekick?
Alise: i have been slacking on my root pimpin
Alise: so no, lol
T 2U: it was horrible!
T 2U: the quality of the person who wrote it.....
T 2U: ugh

Alise: i definitely have to check it out so i can heckle
T 2U: or maybe i'm just on Obamas nuts so hard that anyone doubting his intellegence pisses me off
T 2U: i only read the first 2 paragraphs

Alise: oh wow
T 2U: tmi?
T 2U: lol

Alise: naw, that u only read the first 2 paragraphs
Alise: tmi doesnt really exist in my world
T 2U: oh lol
T 2U: girl i couldnt continue
T 2U: i prematurly ejaculated my judgement all over that article

Theo's Holiday....

Below is my favoite Cosby Show of all time. It is the episode when Cliff and Clair decide to teach Theo a financial life lesson by turning the house into the "real world". Ain't boy I tell ya they 'ain't never lied' about the harsh reality of the real world.... enjoy the clip! What is your favorite Cosby episode?

(Click the picture to see the clip....)

Me and my partner in (C)rhyme wrote a poem about a month back and I forgot to post it.... it is dedicated to all the Cubicle Crusaders out there....

by Tiha and Alise
There are the bullies and the bullied
There are the popular and the socially awkward
There are the Bes and the wanna-bes
Some time after high school class culture meets real world life stressors meets survival of the fittest the lines blur and roles change.
The bullies become leaders or dictators (depending on the country)
The popular become entertainers
The Bes are being happy
And the bullied, socially awkward and wanna-bes are in management.
Welcome to cube life!

I think, therefore I outcast in this cubicle nation
Weirdo among automatons scared of recreation...
Not satisfied with status quo and placation
But it is I who is the skeleton key to workplace rejuvenation...
Yet when I cross the cubicle borders I am faced with condemnation,
New ideas faced with scoffs and irritation....

Even complacency is complaining about the tedium of my cubicle existance.
Going against it's very nature, it has planned a mental revolt.
It kidnapped serenity and left a note saying:
give us fulfillment! give us challenge! give us free! or the bitch gets it...

I am a wolf in business casual attire
Ribs are touching..... so I am stalking, staking, slithering, & scoping....
Shuffling around in sensible shoes searching and salivating for something worth sinking my fangs in
Trying futilely to fit in with the flock.....
A time bomb with teeth....
tick.... tock....

Hip Hop Amber Alert - Nine

*Where are you???..... He asked what ya want, and I am guessing he wanted another hit but that didn't happen..... oh well! Enjoy! *

naturally alise
*I feel old today*

*I want a steak*

*My fucking ribs hurt today*

*If I have to go to one more meeting I am gonna lose it.... for realz!!!*

Pity(FULL) Part deux & R&B Amber Alert

Dang, I am hurting, I wonder if Adam hurt this bad when God tok the rib for Eve.... Word of advice: Never break a rib, let alone 4... I sustained my injuries in the end of April and I still am in agony... but anyway, I was thinking what kind of Pity Party doesn't have music, so here is the playlist of Naturally Alise on the virtual 1's and 2's..... as well as a Pity Party video selection/R&B Amber Alert...

*¿Dónde está UNV?*

Hair me out y'all!

I think I want to cut off my locks... and why you ask??? Well here are the reasons:

1. I never was particularly fond of long hair on myself, my hair always has grown fast and I have always chopped it off

Me with shorter hair and a lot leaner ... note to self: hit the gym

2. The hair on my neck is making me break out, and what is the point of having long hair if I am going to have to just put i up in a pony tail everyday. Boring-tired-ass ponytail (and I look bored and tired on the pic)
3. It is getting more and more time consuming taking care of it properly

Should have seen how long it took me to do this!

4. Need a fresh start

*random web pic* I would love to try some things with color and varying lengths, just have fun, I'm young, why not?

5. Tired of folks touching my hair... geez...

*I gotta get this shirt like ASAP!

BUT, I swear when I tell people (my locked friends) this they give me more grief about that than permed folks gave me when I decided to go natural.... go figure! I'll let you know what I decide to do, even though I know I will cut it, I'll post pics of it when I do it, PEACE!

IM Excerpt o' the day

I am currently compiling a collection of the brillianty ignorant Instant Messaging adventure of me and my kindred spirit with IM handle of T2u, but can also be found at Artistic or Just Plain Crazy, we have been for real friends and Yahoo Instant Messaging buddies for about 4 years now... anyway, I am going to share funny or thought provoking snippets from out convos over the years... so enjoy our little slice of heaven (or hell depending on you point of view)

This particular conversation was about someone I used to date and the discussion of how this person has changed AND the prospect of me dating this person ever again, names have been changed to protect folks and shit....

T2U (8/4/2008 2:20:33 PM): what was the ish with her? she was crazy right?
Alise (8/4/2008 2:20:56 PM): she was all judgemental and classist
Alise (8/4/2008 2:21:20 PM): she did have some attachment issues i think
Alise (8/4/2008 2:21:35 PM): with a sprinkle of jealousy
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:21:48 PM): and severe insecurities that manifested in super defensiveness
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:21:58 PM): "Tasha" can do no wrong, but u sure can
Alise (8/4/2008 2:22:21 PM): which would have been jealousy of the healthy kind if she was actually my girlfriend, but unhealthy for friends who have sex
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:22:48 PM): is she any better now? can you tell from the convo?
Alise (8/4/2008 2:22:54 PM): i think she may have conquered some of the insecurities, but note I said "some"
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:23:39 PM): lol!
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:23:53 PM): all she need is someone to love and someone to love her
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:23:58 PM): love conquers all
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:24:02 PM): yada yada yada
Alise (8/4/2008 2:24:31 PM): *barf*
Alise (8/4/2008 2:24:41 PM): naw, she does seem different though
Alise (8/4/2008 2:24:55 PM): people change when they cut the perm out they head
Alise (8/4/2008 2:24:57 PM): lol
Alise (8/4/2008 2:25:16 PM): I think the chemicals in relaxers fries our brains and sense of reason
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:25:28 PM): you got me over here in tears!
Alise (8/4/2008 2:25:40 PM): lol
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:26:00 PM): a natural will make you black
Alise (8/4/2008 2:26:25 PM): in a NY minute
Alise (8/4/2008 2:27:01 PM): like we be joking about it, but for real it puts you in touch with something else
Alise (8/4/2008 2:27:13 PM): i dont know what that something else is
T 2U (8/4/2008 2:27:33 PM): hmmm interseting