Angsty Thursday: Dear Stan,

Today has been proclaimed "Angsty Thursday" by Luvvie so across the blogs of the ePosse and the IGs, people are posting about people or things that piss them off. Also participating in Angsty Thursday is House of IG, Awesomely Luvvie, PBG and KindredSmile.....

I was talking to Luvvie a couple days ago, and it went a little something like this:

me: chile i said something about Ciara a couple days ago about her being uncute and her face being harsh and angular..... chile you'd of thought i punched their mama in the larynx at church during altar call.... fuggouttahere
Luvvie: hahahaha... exactly... mofos don made themselves the patron saints of celebs
Luvvie: go sitch yo repping ass somewhere
me: today on vsb i was talmbout r kelly
me: and folks got to feeling some kinda way about that dirty bastard
Luvvie: lmao
me: fuck him
Luvvie: i loves the r-rah but he is dirty
me: (i said that in the post too)
Luvvie: i cant even defend him
me: i said "Fuck R. Kelly"
Luvvie: lol i c it now
me: and dont lemme even get started n the Yawnce Zombies.... le grrrrr
Luvvie: Yawnce.... hehehehe
me: i told folks how much i hated the Ego video and you'd of thought i kicked Jesus in the nuts
Luvvie: yup!!!

I know many of you hear the word "Stans", it basically describes an obsessive fan, click here for the origin of the word for those who don't know. There are particular Stans that grind my gears... So like my buddy Luvvie, I will write a sternly worded letter to all the Stans.

Dear Stan,

I feel the same way about Stans as I do about Stan from Martin. (Unattractive, non-stylish, and hilarious.) Beyonce don't know you. Ciara is not attracted to you. R. Kelly is nasty and would screw your little girl if given the chance. Oprah is not breaking you off with a check. You pay their salaries, give them buzz, and stroke their egos. They don't care about you. Can you please explain something to me?: Why do you defend and get offended when I clown them. I joke about a chick walking down the street with the blonde eyebrows and Clowntastic Lacefronts (please click this link and watch, it will turn your frown upside down) and am not classified as a hater, just an observer, and you will probably join in. So when I say that about your favorite singer/entertainer I am a hating ass hater, for real son? People treat the stars like some sort of Papparazzi fueled religious cult, I don't get it, go Stan for Jesus or something *shrugs shoulders*... Can someone explain? Please? I'm at a loss just like Luvvie's hairline... le sigh...

Prayerfully Yours,
Naturally Alise

*Observation, in the You might like these stories at the bottom, I wrote a post about me & Tiha being Stans for a Spoken Word artist teeee-heeeeee*


Now that I’ve entered the 30+ realm of hotness and uber sexiness, I’m in awe of the level of understanding I have. I mean, I’m not saying I know it all, not even close, but I now understand so much better all of the things I’ve come to know during my 3 decades on this flighty planet. I understand things about myself and the way the world works. This understanding has rendered me calm amidst the man made storms, even that non man made ones. My faith in things intangible has strengthened. Me no worry over things I can’t control.

Specifically artistically I am so much more free. I mean people have told me, actually they haven’t really, I’ve told myself that I am free to do what I want, but now I believe me. And this newfound freeness has my mind boggled, but in a good way. I’m out on the edge of the cliff, and I don’t care…will I fall…I don’t care…will I come back…I don’t care…and it feels good…to only care about what I love…

sounds like the start of a poem….

{naturally alise steps in} well i think i'll write one of many that is all up in my spirit....

if there were no cliffs
how would we know if our wings are working
instead of accessories taking up space
decorating cubicles
next to the family pic
and puppy calendar

on those
cliff edges
where emus transform
into mighty eagles

and lemmings get a clue.

[so tiha: sometimes it's okay to jump..... use your wings...]

Escape from Zombieland

After spending time waiting for the hero crew to come and save me, I realized that I’m the only one that can save me, truly. They didn’t come, and I spent a lot of time doing nothing. I stopped shucking and jiving and made saving me my priority.

So I popped my ipod earplugs into my domepiece, turned up some J*Davey and plotted my escape. Getting maps of the city and drawing out my escape route including hitting up places for food supplies and some ammo heavy blast em away artillery. It’s my metaphoric escape from an imaginary place, I gotta do it up right. Broke into a Honda dealership and copped one of their baddest motorcycles.

*2007 Honda Shadow Spirit 750

I also found some like minded beings and pulled together a ragtag group of misfits and zombie social outcasts. We made our way out of zombieland and are off to…who knows where, but away from here!

Oxy and Morons

I think I have entered another dimension, truly we are in our last days. I keep having experiences that are out of this world, hot oxymoronic otherwordly weirdness (click for example) . Remember yesterday I told you about the thuggery in the LIBRARY... well last night I saw someone studying at the bar. Not a restaurant that happened to have a bar, not an oxygen bar, not a salad bar, not a candy bar.... it was at a sports bar/pool hall. I am chilling at the bar drinking my Heineken (it was the special, yay-ee-yay!) with my homegirl Curly. We are playing the most addictive bar game in history. (see pic at the end) Out of my good ol' peripheral I spy a chick with index cards on the bar. Curly shouts "Oh shit, is that a trivia game??!! Sweet!" the chick responds, "No, these are flash cards, I take the GRE tomorrow. Pray for me y'all!" *awkward pause* I say "Ummmm, uh-ruh-yeah, good luck with that." Who studies at the bar? No really, who does that? I am going to pray for her, but not for the test, I pray for her sobriety and wish real hard that her family does an an Intervention so I can see it on A&E and say, "Ooooooh I know her!" I had to share this with you guys beause it bugged me out... Have a great weekend!
*this game is electric crack*

New Jack Library

So let me tell you about my interesting day at the library of all places. I went to the Durham Public Library yesterday to pick up a few books on my wish list because I can't afford to buy them, which makes me sad because I love to OWN books, I hate library books. Anyway, I am getting off focus already. So I decide to chill at the library for a little while and grabbed a chair and began reading one of my book selections. This seems pretty innocuous, right? Au contraire! I get about 20 pages into my book and and 3 teenagers sit at a table a few tables down from where I was sitting. It was 2 girls and a boy who looked rather rough around the edges, but otherwise harmless. Then they begin to loudly talk about their hood-exploits. The boy starts talking about how his attempted murder charges and robbery charges had got dropped. He then proceeded to talk about all the people he allegedly shot at and fought. The girls began to fawn over him like he was God Almighty. They were acting like the little kids and the preacher were all up on Nino Brown in "New Jack City" and I wanted to go over there like the old man and give him a piece of my mind, but I was scared Nino Brown and Keisha would off me.

*skip to and watch 4:00 - 5:35 for the scene*

It made me so sad that they came up in the library to discuss their thuggery as opposed to say ummmmm, read a damn book or in the very least get on one of the many computers. I would have even been happy had they not decided to sit near me with their shenanigans since I was already upset to have to read library books. On the good side the borrowing library books will be coming to an end soon because guess who got a job offer? Here's a hint: she is fly, fresh, flavorful, fabulous, and fun... no not Tiha, ME!

I shut my computer at work down for the day after a long grueling day in the cube. I pop my ipod earplugs into my ignorance sensitive ear holes and make my way down to the train station. As I reflect on the cute outfits I saw online just moments ago, my attention is drawn to the crowd that just came off the train in front of me. They are loud and rambunctious, it is about time for the kids to be getting off of school, but I suspect there are quite a few non-high school folks up in the mix as well, the baby strollers and rag tag bands of kindergarten kids clinging to each other and their leader kind of gives it away. To my shock and horror, I see these high school kids, and others wearing the cute fashions I’d just seen online. The shock comes from the horrible way the once cute fashions look on these fashion misfits. SECURITY! SECURITY! Please come get these folks and lock them up, this is truly indecent exposure. The poor clothes, clinking to the too big bodies of the youth…. Two sizes too small on the women, 5 sizes too big on the men, misguided souls trying to resemble someone…lord knows who, and getting it WRONG WRONG WRONG. They have truly tainted my view of clothes. Most folks see fashion on the runway or in a fashion magazine, the way its supposed to look, I see fashion on the minions, the way it should never look, and it makes me want to take up sewing, just so I would never be caught wearing the same thing these poor souls have thrown on.

Compete Deez...

*and the winner issssss.... Alise of course, what were you thinking???*

So what's up party people? Life trating you alright? Glad to hear it! I want to share a little bit about myself with all 3 of my readers, to let you get to know me and shit: I am super competitive. This past weekend I paticpated in a slew of competitive activities and it was really sad and pathetic interesting.:
  • Game of pickup football with a bunch of little boys under the age of 13. Do you know these little boys tried to clown me. When I would have the ball to throw they would move up as if I couldn't throw a football (I mean, I guess if I was a teeenage boy and this big rusty 30 year old woman came up, then I'd of reacted the same) Guess what? The joke was on them, I was a BEAST! I was throwing the ball around and running like the wind. True, I felt the pain later, but I had to prove a point. Anything to get that Heisman self satisfaction of winning.
  • Spades... no explanation for that one, just know that Spades brings out a side of me that is lethal, I dare you to say something negative or salty regarding my Spades game, or I'll be forced to thrash you because I gets busy!
  • Pool... I think I caused a grown man to almost cry. (Like for real) When I play pool I am a terrible sport (not a sore loser though, because in the words of the poet laureate of my inner thug (Jay-Z): "I WILL NOT LOSE." I taunt, tease, trash talk, and alliterate. Something comes out of me and I turn into a asshole complete cocky crazed alliterating person.
  • Scrabble. Le sigh. First let's talk about my love for the most fabulous board game in creation. I have been playing scrabble since the tender age of 8 (so like for 10 years, lol), and endured years of utter destruction, demoralizing ,domination, and alliterating by my mother. This ego bruising over the years made me strive to be all I could be in the Army. So now I play Scrabble like it is a contact sport.

The moral of this pitiful story is I am a tenacious opponent. Take for instance, I am fighting some adversity now, but I know I will be alright, because I refuse to lose. In life I am just as competitive, I should be, I've had lots of practice whooping up on fools all my life!

Movie Review: Star Trek

It’s about that time again so lets pull out our pointy ears and hold up our Vulcan gang signs, hold em high and wave them from side to side, its Star Trek time!
As someone who is a proud trekkie, a serious sci-fi enthusiast AND someone just loves creativity, I give 2 thumbs way up to the newest installment if the Star Trek franchise. This does NOT disappoint, by no means (not like Wolverine). This Star Trek is true to trekkie form, it has plot, it has starships, it has pissed off aliens, it has old heads and new, it is the bomb! And what’s better is that it is easy to follow along for those who have lived under a rock for years and have not seen a single star trek. I went with one of these under rock dwellers, someone who didn’t know their Kirks from their Picards and they were able to follow, enjoy, and cheer for the characters! Star Trek made easy but with substance, who knew you could still make a movie like that?

Yay Star Trek!

Art and the Computer, ugh

*This is actually a computer painting on a portrait. I actually like this.

Call me old school, I don’t mind, but I have a problem with digital art. My problem isn’t with other people doing digital art, the problem is with ME doing digital art. I see computer generated pieces (whether scanned in and colored or created solely on the comp) and I’m amazed by the richness of the color, then I long to see them in their original form, or as art pieces done in oils or acrylics or whatever. I see digital art having a place with comic book art or art that is highly produced/replicated like graphic designs etc. But art for the sake of art done digitally doesn’t turn me on. I used to want a notepad to draw with, but creating pieces is so much more to me. I like the feel of the paper or canvas under my fingertips. I like the sound of pencil against a textured surface, almost sounds like etching or carving. I like the drama of building up a piece from outline to fill in to detail on a canvas with paint. The brushstrokes, the happy mistakes, the methodical layering of color over color to get just the right shade, the right highlight, the right feeling. The intimate moments between artist and canvas and paintbrush and paint. Catching a rhythm then running out of cadmium yellow right in the middle of your flow so now you have to rush to the store before it closes and hope you don’t lose the momentum that you spent all night dreaming about and all day conveying in sketch after sketch until you have lead smudges all over your fingers, the canvas, and your face…

Computers don’t give you lead pencil smudges, computers don’t run out of paint at crucial moments, computers sometimes can give you a crick in your hand from holding something at an odd angle with repetitive movements, but its just not the same…

my canvases love me back by holding my works and forgiving my mistakes
my computer deletes my mistakes and don’t give me a chance to grow and learn because all traces of an over extended line are gone…

call me old school, I don’t mind…

Heavenly Discussion...

"I only talk from my heart so open yours when you listening. Every man has his own heaven the difference is the way that he envisions it... "
© Blu, "The World Is (Below The Heavens...)"

Today I was going to save Tiha from the zombies because I am super and I am a hero, but I got sidetracked, she'll be alright for a second, she's resourceful. You know I have a one-track mind. In fact, you should get your white water raft and sail on my stream of consciousness, your life jacket will be your open mind. (I'm a poet, shoot me) Well, I just got finished reading a book called "The Lovely Bones", by Alice Sebold that was recommended to me by the fabulous Suga, and I am so glad that I was steered in this book's direction. This is the synopsis of the book from

When we first meet 14-year-old Susie Salmon, she is already in heaven. This was before milk carton photos and public service announcements, she tells us; back in 1973, when Susie mysteriously disappeared, people still believed these things didn't happen.

In the sweet, untroubled voice of a precocious teenage girl, Susie relates the awful events of her death and her own adjustment to the strange new place she finds herself. It looks a lot like her school playground, with the good kind of swing sets.

With love, longing, and a growing understanding, Susie watches her family as they cope with their grief, her father embarks on a search for the killer, her sister undertakes a feat of amazing daring, her little brother builds a fort in her honor and begin the difficult process of healing.

In the hands of a brilliant novelist, the author narrates the THE LOVELY BONES through the eyes of her winning young heroine. This story of seemingly unbearable tragedy is transformed into a suspenseful and touching story about family, memory, love, heaven, and living.

One thing that stood out to me in this book is that the main character Susie, who is in heaven for the majority of the book, describes how each person has their own heaven. Their heaven is based on what they love and find pleasurable or comforting. So this leads me to a question for you guys: What would your heaven be like, what would be playing, would would be your surroundings, what person that passed away from your life would you want to see first?

~discuss~ (I'll paint you a picture of my heaven in the comments... i promise....)