Cubespeak: Meetings

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them. (Word!)

Cubicle Crusaders hate meetings like we hate Aristocrat swill liquor, Jim Jones (shouts to, and papercuts. Meetings were earlier defined in your handy CCIR Cubespeak dictionary/glossary as: a designated time and place for idiots to boast their stupidity (idiots need soapboxes too). And we were so sin-surrrrr... (shouts to Threats).

Let me tell you how the DAILY 9:30 am production meeting goes: everyone finally shows up at 9:40, I am impatient (but virtuous*), so by then I either show my disgust through rolling my eyes non-verbal communication or just leaving. But let's just say I decide to stay, the meeting starts with discssing the stats of all the upcoming, current, and late jobs, the prodction management (full of unearned pride**) is never prepared, this is what I don't understand, you are doing the work, why do you not know the status of the things you are doing? I am an account manager with hundreds of jobs/projects floating around in my head, and I remember all of them PLUS how to do their jobs, so why can't they? So then after we spend 15 more minutes trudging through the painful job updates someone goes off on a tangent about smething that does not concern the whole group. Please take that shit offline somewhere, all of their inane conversation and nonsense is cutting into my blog reading time***, geez.... (Jumping off of my soapbox, the air is thin up here and I got COPD, asthma, and shit.......) So to our semi-faithful readers (lol) tell us about your meetings or how you cope with it all?

Go Team!
*patience: In his Devil's Dictionary Ambrose Bierce describes patience as 'a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue'.
manager (except me): an idiot with *unearned pride
*** ...cutting into my blog time...


T 2U: i also want a cookie for not telling my boss to his face he was stupid
Alise: you get a cupcake for that shit
T 2U: had to bite my tongue, literally
T 2U: and i just said that the concept didnt align for its purpose
Alise: nice !
T 2U: but if course u know he didnt get it
T 2U: lol
Alise: that's how stupid works
Alise: so stupid that you dont know someone is calling you stupid

T 2U: ha!
T 2U: so true
T 2U: and then after all that, he cut into my blogging time
T 2U: and thats just wrong

Now this is a cool ass meeting! CMB! CMB!:

4 comment(s) thus far...:

President Anthony Taurus said...

Am I my brother's keeper?

YES I AM. lol

eysqueen said...

that is exactly how state gobment meetings go too! you must have to go to school to learn how to incorrectly run a meeting. must!

NaturallyAlise said...

Yup, they need to take a cue from Nino's meetings, all dressed in black and to the point... "Now sit your $5 ass down b4 I make change!" lol

Brilliance Is A Habit (c) Unknown said...

I catch flack all the time for having nothing to say at meetings. I am an office manager so they all ready know how things are, I'm like "you have a pen don't you." this ship doesn't run by it's self. Great blog!