Yeah they are bad, but I am going to share something with y'all, but you can't tell anyone, snitches get stitches and I keep my blade on me at all times, that's how the Bull City gets down....but I digress... Now that I have gotten that out the way back to my confession, I'm an addict, with many drugs of choice, but there is one that be calling me (c) Pookie. And heroin, MD 2020, magic mushrooms, power, Krispy Kreme, and aerosol cans ain't got shit on what I'm hooked on..... wait for it, wait for it.... coffee. Don't you dare judge me, caffeine-heads need your support too, daaaaaang. Y'all don't understand, coffee, or as I affectionately refer to as my Java-lin*, is the only thing gets me over the high level of stupidity I know I will face on the daily.
*'Java-lin', like a javelin, bad joke, I know, I know, I like playing with words and shit... lol
Oh, but when it comes to my drug of choice I am strictly top-shelf. My coworker, who I work with that sits right next to me, and I invested in a coffee maker and bring our own coffee to the office. We do not touch "work swill", you will not get me on some ol' HR-Jim Jones Kool-Aid type of action, I will not fall for it! I know "we" are supposed to like free stuff, but this is where I draw the line. I have standards. However, we do rest the coffee maker on the Cubicle Sabbath - FRIDAY, hallelujah! Praise Santa**! And we commemorate the Sabbath by giving our tithes and offerings and building fund donations to the local Starbucks, Caribou, or some other corporate devil entity, hmmmmmm.... that is kinda like church for real. I need my coffee because I got a million things to do, I gotta go to meetings and stay awake, stare at spreadsheets without falling asleep, and write my blog all while keeping a smile on my face.... and anyway, "It's like a full time job trying not kill ni**as" (Jay-Z). So in closing, I need my drug of choice, management is not ready to see what my withdrawal looks like, it ain't purty, not one little bit!
**"Praiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise Santa!" -Jasmine from "The Boondocks" Season 1
A Helpful Coffee Hint:
*The best cheap coffee ever
5 comment(s) thus far...:
LOL, I'm not a coffee drinker by any means, but I know some people need it more than bread and water.
Girl, you crack me up.
I just can't do coffee. It has the opposite effect on me. The warmness makes me all cozy and I be ready to lay my head down and doze right off on my keyboard. So, I stay away from it unless I have absolutely no energy. Then I'll go to Starbucks and get a Frapaccino and pray that my lactose intolerant stomach doesnt attack me before I make it home lol
I'm drying out as we speak from my coffee addiction. 30 days clean and snarky as heck...
coffee is just YUCK. ranks up there with cigarettes and everclear alcohol.
smoke some weed the night before. you won't need coffee in the morning. yup ;)
@ Anthony, that is a vice I gave up in college, made me sleep in ridiculously long intervals, so I'm sure it would eliminate work stress but introduce a new stress: unemployment, lol
Post a Comment