As an artist, (and I refer to myself as one all the time, I put it in writing and purport it upon meeting new people), I tend to get moody, I get down in the dumps, I get blue dammit. Now I understand that for some people, being bummed or depressed can be the worst thing in the world. They try everything in their power never to feel that low. For a person like me, its just a part of life. When I get down, and I mean not down because the Cowboys got the crap beat out of them the other night, but really DOWN, I kind of revel in it. I almost celebrate it. I close myself off from anyone and anything that may try to drag me out of it. I close the door, turn off the phone, and just be with moody me. These down times give me a chance to take a listen and converse with the different parts of me that I tend to suppress during the day. Kind of like a one on one session with the darker sides of me. The insecure one, the angry one, the fearful one, the horny one, the shy one. I get all down and dirty with these folks and we hash it out. I make deals with them, compromises and bribes. After all is said and done, I come back out feeling more settled and aware of myself. Now of course, if I’d taken the time to do this more often, I probably wouldn’t get so down and have to block off days, sometimes months to hash it out. But I’m getting better at listening to myself, and my down time is becoming less.I don’t see anything wrong with being bummed out sometimes. Having been seriously depressed at one time in my life, I do know the difference, and I know all of the catchy terms for it too to give to the insurance company ;)
Now for all of you out there who just cant get down with being down, I have an injection of silver on this cloud for you (in my own sick and twisted way). The more we artists (and no I’m not speaking for all artists, just the ones I know and run with) get our personal time to be down, the more art we can produce for your consumption. Some of us produce from personal insight, so leave us alone so we can purge some content from our tortured souls. whooaaa, this post took a strange a little turn there. Let me get back to the point.
Love the artists in your lives, love yourselves, and let it do what it do! (yeah that’s the point)
4 comment(s) thus far...:
I have those days where I just want to be left alone, I'm quiet, I only speak when spoken to, and I might not appear to be the best company because I'm too mellow to enjoy. That's my thinking mode and I allow it because it's necessary. While there is nothing wrong with being happy all the time, it isn't the end of the world if you're having a "down day"...like you said, such is life! :)
Um, I think you wrote this post for me. Seriously...I neeeever allow myself to feel certain emotions. Which is NOT good b/c one day all of those un-dealt with emotions will turn into a mental disorder (LOL...but not really LOLing). I need to deal with being "down" a lot more often b/c I am forever pushing that emotion away.
And like all Black folx say, "I'm gon get right in '09." LOL!! Great post!
Yes, the blues get me a singin' once in a while. I do like you, shut off the world and duke it out.
I have never, ever reflected on those times until I just finished reading your post. It's amazing how gut wrenching they truly are. Maybe that's why I don't think about them - because they are depressing!
On the whole, I think it's healthy to have ups and downs. I believe there is something wrong if you are constantly a mono-feeling creature.
@ all of y'all
I swear she must have a tape recorder taping the voices in my head , lol, because she always writes something that touches a point that is relevant to me at just the right moment.... great post Tiha!
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