We still around and kicking!

Have no fear readers, we are still around and kicking. It just so happens that we are in full swing with living life and barely have enough time to report back on our adventures. However, we are indeed having adventures and saucy thoughts about the trippy stuff we encounter. I have about a month's worth of rants and vents about everything, and Ms. Alise has a month's worth of happenings and personal growth experiences to share. We've poured them into our blog pots and put it on simmer. And boy is it simmering... or in my angry case, its bubbling rapidly, but I left the house with the stove on, so I'm sure mi casa is on the verge of being burned down, heated and melting from all of the fiery thoughts that I intended to pour onto this blog. If I go home, and it is no longer standing, then it'll be a life lesson for me, don't walk away from the passion when its bubbling over and piping hot. If I go home and someone else has turned off the stove and saved my temple, I owe someone a dinner :)

Apparently I've missed writing this blog, I swear this was supposed to be a one liner.

Stay tuned folks, we will be back soon!

The power of Starbucks

This morning I made my scrimmage down the road to Starbucks to get some hot coco (I’m off caffeine and telling the world, 1 week and counting, taking it day by day). The line was wrapped around itself full of eager Starbucks coffee heads ready for their morning injection of happiness.

Today was also the day they were giving out free pastries. I was so focused on my coco that I’d forgotten about the free item. As I took my place in line, the lady behind the registered announced to the waiting coffeeheads that there were no more free pastries. All gone, they ran out. I counted about 10 or so many folks in front of me, about 5 behind, and don’t you know out of all those people, maybe 3 actually left the building. Only three people were there solely for the free stuff! Starbucks is having no problems retaining their customers through this hard time if only 3 out of who knows how many people left because they couldn’t get something free. Now that’s power. Have you ever been in a free line before? Do you remember what its like when folks run out of the free item? Remember KFC…remember get in free b4 11 nights at the club….I mean folks would start to riot and burn things down. Not at Starbucks my friends, they don’t even need free giveaways, coffeeheads are loyal! Now that’s power!

Straight from Eysqueen's...mind!

I would like to take this time to pontificate on some things we as flawed, crooked, narrow minded, self serving, self destructive humans do keep ourselves in a perpetual state of misery and to support our need to lash out angrily at any and everyone around us further adding to the motto “life’s a b then ya die”.

If life were a forest, and we were city dwellers, we would find living in the forest quite daunting. City slickers weren’t meant to lounge in forests, however as humans we adapt. Our adaptation to the forest may result in inhabiting only a small section of the forest at a time, as we get used to our surroundings and figuring out which leaves SHOULD NOT be used to wipe our butts. This is quite understandable. In our timid adaptation to our strange surroundings, we may find ourselves leaning up against a dead tree. The roots may be rotted, it may sway a little too much to the side when the cooling breeze blows, whatever the case may be, this one tree we’ve been lamping on is dead. There aren’t too many places you can go once you’ve reached end. And since we are too afraid to venture away from our familiarly dead tree, we tend to focus on how awful the dead tree is and how it serves no purpose. We may even be scarred by the fact that we are just now realizing the tree is dead and wondering how long it had been deceased before we realized it, causing us to doubt our dead tree recognizing abilities. Causing us to ultimately doubt everything about ourselves. We focus on the dead tree and rotted roots, it absorbs our energy and all we can think about is how much the world sucks because your lamping tree is dead and it looks bad too and its all up in our personal space.

As we spiral deeper into our diatribe about how all the world is filled with rotten things and how only horrible things happen to us, and how we no longer trust ourselves to make good decisions because our last decision had us lamping on a dead tree, somewhere up above, people are laughing their a**es off at us. Someone somewhere says, between laughs “why don’t they just move to a better location, after all it is a forest and there are plenty of other vibrantly alive trees”. Ahh yes common sense. From the outside looking in it all seems so simple. But to the poor city dwelling peon in the forest, it’s not quite so clear.

The moral of the story is, don’t be a closed minded peon unable to progress because you are overwhelmed by a situation that is foreign to you. Keep it moving, I promise things will change and it will get better. And maybe, the people high up above will stop laughing. AND if its any consolation to you, the laughing people up top laughed their butts right up off that mountain and fell down to where you are, so they are throwing shade down there with you.

Robot Chicken Ruined my Childhood

There is a little show on Adult Swim (Cartoon Network) called Robot Chicken, whose soul purpose is to permantely warp all of the good and fun things from my childhood. It is a clay mation parody show that puts a comic twist on everyday tv shows, commercials and events, mostly the ones from the 80s. They made the tooth fairy whoop tail on an abusive husband. They had the chicky from “this is your brain on drugs” take that frying pan and go ape sh*t all over her apartment and street. They told Rudolph the red nosed reindeer that his red nose was a tumor and he was going to die. They also told Popeye that his arms were unnaturally big and that they too were tumors. They gave Optimus Prime a std or prostate cancer or something. So when I went to see Transformers the movie, all I could think about was how much it hurt Optimus to pee. Thank You Robot Chicken! Below are a few still shots from other wacky and memory scarring episodes of Robot Chicken:

A world Tour

I was talking to a friend that lives in my old stomping grounds of Raleigh NC the other day, and she was catching me up on the happenings around town. She finished her report by exclaiming shrilly through the phone “and guess who I saw?? I saw your friend Alise, she’s big time now! She was headlining a show!!” Squeals and claps abounded for about 10 minutes. Yes people, my blog partner is the sh*t! She headlines shows, she gets the party started, she can start a cipher on a street corner, in a laundry mat, at the coffee shop and even in someone else’s head. Give it up for Naturally Alise who’s spoken word fame is being talked about from town to town and state to state. Now let’s get this chicky prepped for her spoken word tour…She needs an agent too!

* this is an old picture, but it comes from a time when sista girl was really getting into her spoken word groove. Cheers to beginnings and continuations!

"Act like a tennis shoe...."

"....and just do it..."
(c) "Doo Doo Brown" -2 Hype Brothers
(such profound and astute quotes, I know....)


someone asked me for advice. the cartoon below is a pretty good summation of what i told them:

Only thing is question was not about a job. It was about a toxic friendship. I don't even mean the run of the mill growing apart thing that usually happens around my age. It was a clear case of the fact that their friend was a complete and utter motherf.... shut yo mouf! This person went on and on forever about how this person was all types of not sh*t and various other colorful expletives, after 10 minutes in I grew agitated with the whole conversation. My answer was, [verbatim] "Tell her to exit stage left, and then you exit stage right." I received the typical response of, "But I love her we've been friends forever." ugh, that reeked of fail. I HATE, abhor, despise, and generally can't stand that response for anything. It is an unacceptable reason whether it be a friendship, romantic relationship, job, or to turn down a great oppurtunity. Sometimes it's good to be a quitter, as long as you are quitting strategically and quitting wack ass people. word. Just had to ge that off my chest... you know how i get to feeling some kinda way.

A Call to Action....

*we will be posting some blogs from back in the day from time to time to share with all the newer readers, we would appreciate any comments or feedback you may have*

~originally posted 12/9/08~


*my boy Ichigo, get ya anime game right suckas

Have you ever read a job description that sounded like something you could do, but the circumstances weren’t “right” or “ideal”? Maybe the job was in a location that you’d never consider moving to, or in a part of town that required a vest. Maybe the pay would reduce you to eating Raman Noodles, which you are already doing making more money now. Maybe you thought it would be a step back in your career movement up the ladder. However, the job seemed so like something you could do, something you had been prepared for by previous jobs or education. Maybe the job was related to your first major in college that you transferred out of, but always had a yearning to pursue it-if the timing was right. Well I’m here to reveal a message about this exact kind of scenario.

I’ve found that for a while now I’ve been preparing for my war, my battle or to put it ethereally, my purpose in life. Anyone who knows me for 5 minutes knows that I have the spirit of a warrior, always ready to do battle for a cause, against an injustice, and in my youth just for the hell of it. And I’ve been walking around looking for my battle, dragging my sword on the ground, stomping my feet because I couldn’t find a fight. When all along, it was right in front of me. No it didn’t come in the form I expected it to, but neither does blessings or any other message given to us by the divine one. When you get your marching orders, no one is going to text it to your phone or email a detailed description of it. You’d just better get or you’ll miss it.

So now I’m ready, I’ve gotten the call to action. I’ve been preparing for years, I know the name of my zanpaktou and I’m ready to use it. Slaying demons, beheading dragons, or basically getting the job done, when you get the call, will you be ready?

Cubicle Crusaders Poetry Greatest Hits

Since we started this week off with a poem, I thought I would share some of my favorite poems Tiha and I have written over the course of our blog. Let us know what you think!

from Poetry Wednesday's: MEH (my response to the debate last night)
-Tiha

Meditating Endlessly about my Horizons
because the view at ground level sucks
I’m too close to the manmade earth
which is made up mainly of mistakes and rocks.
I’ve taken to tugging on my hair
to relieve all this anxiety I have built up inside
in school I believe they said it’s a disorder
anxious obsession that I know is felt countrywide.
I have no sense of control
but what I sense isn’t too good
in fact its keeping me with bald patches on my head
and my eyes rolled up looking like a crackhead in the hood.
If drugs were an option
I’d be smacking my arm right now
but my youth has already taught me
that short term is not an option, not for me anyhow.
So I keep my eyes on the horizon
my mind floating amongst the clouds
keeping my dreams alive and safe
and protecting my goals underground.



from Free
-Alise, written to Tiha

if there were no cliffs
how would we know if our wings are working
instead of accessories taking up space
decorating cubicles
next to the family pic
and puppy calendar ...

on those cliff edges
are where emus transform
into mighty eagles
and lemmings get a clue.


from Poetry Wednesday - A sexy mind is a terrible thing to waste...
-Tiha

i swear i'm not great in my own mind,
my own mind just happens to be great
my brain is soooooo sexy
all gray and goowey
oozing sense and sensibility
sensual thoughts verbalized as creative ideas
genius bottled as grey matter
matter of factly packaged for success

from Coincidence?
-Alise

So time for me
... to abandon the vicious cycles
.....and running in circles...
I am gonna run ....
in some new shapes,
ellipses,
rhombuses*....
no. fuck that.
I am multidimensional
I'll run, walk, and glide in 3D,
run in dodecahedron
excel in this sphere....
yup.
no more running in circles
...that always ends in a cube....


and our first joint poem we ever did, and probably our fave!
from Yet To Be Realized Potential of a Creative Class Superstar....

There are the bullies and the bullied

There are the popular and the socially awkward

There are the Bes and the wanna-bes

Some time after high school class culture meets real world life stressors meets survival of the fittest the lines blur and roles change.

The bullies become leaders or dictators (depending on the country)

The popular become entertainers

The Bes are being happy

And the bullied, socially awkward and wanna-bes are in management.

Welcome to cube life!

I think, therefore I am......an outcast in this cubicle nation

Weirdo among automatons scared of recreation...

Not satisfied with status quo and placation

But it is I who is the skeleton key to workplace rejuvenation...

Yet when I cross the cubicle borders I am faced with condemnation,

New ideas faced with scoffs and irritation....

Even complacency is complaining about the tedium of my cubicle existence.

Going against it's very nature, it has planned a mental revolt.

It kidnapped serenity and left a note saying:

give us fulfillment! give us challenge! give us free! or the bitch gets it...

I am a wolf in business casual attire

Ribs are touching..... so I am stalking, staking, slithering, & scoping....

Shuffling around in sensible shoes searching and salivating for something worth sinking my fangs in

Trying futilely to fit in with the flock.....

A time bomb with teeth....

tick.... tock....