Poetry (Kinda) Wednesday: Cube Flu

Negrobola. Foot in Hoof & Mouth Disease. KIDS. Cube Flu. Something will get ya. You ever say something like, "This job makes me sick!"? Well, I am beginning to think that my job really does make me ill, I know I am the illest chick on the planet, but I'm not talking about that kind of ill, (See, the job has me delusional!) This is a conversation that we are trying to evolve into a poem or something, so you can see the process (or lack thereof) that we go through to write our ridiculous poems and blogs. So here ya go party people!

Alise: You got any sick days left?
T 2U: naw, you know we stay sick
T 2U: and currently i'm sick again, and my coworker say she got the same symptoms i got
T 2U: the cube bug
Alise: that is about as deadly as the daycare bug
T 2U: lol
T 2U: nasuea-from seeing stupid shit
T 2U: headache-from processing stupid shit
T 2U: chills/fever- from budget cutting the thermastat
Alise: carpal tunnel from imaginary & real bitch slapping
T 2U: lol
T 2U: sounds bout right
Alise: no, your headache came from banging your head against the wall and mine from hitting the ceiling at my job
T 2U: ha!! Cube Flu!
Alise:that would make a good poem....
T2U: word!
Alise: ...we need some more symptoms
T 2U: coughing undigested BS
T 2U: alergic to BS- sneezing
T 2U: vertigo- seperation of logic and common sense from actions has created a topsy-turvy world
Alise: i like the vertigo line, that's hot!
Alise: Ignorance makes me itch
T 2U: rashes and shit
Alise: hee hee....

Yeah, we got issues, we know this, but y'all reading it so y'all are just as crazy! Thanks for reading, we appreciate it!

Cubespeak: Meetings

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them. (Word!)

Cubicle Crusaders hate meetings like we hate Aristocrat swill liquor, Jim Jones (shouts to VSB.com), and papercuts. Meetings were earlier defined in your handy CCIR Cubespeak dictionary/glossary as: a designated time and place for idiots to boast their stupidity (idiots need soapboxes too). And we were so sin-surrrrr... (shouts to Threats).

Let me tell you how the DAILY 9:30 am production meeting goes: everyone finally shows up at 9:40, I am impatient (but virtuous*), so by then I either show my disgust through rolling my eyes non-verbal communication or just leaving. But let's just say I decide to stay, the meeting starts with discssing the stats of all the upcoming, current, and late jobs, the prodction management (full of unearned pride**) is never prepared, this is what I don't understand, you are doing the work, why do you not know the status of the things you are doing? I am an account manager with hundreds of jobs/projects floating around in my head, and I remember all of them PLUS how to do their jobs, so why can't they? So then after we spend 15 more minutes trudging through the painful job updates someone goes off on a tangent about smething that does not concern the whole group. Please take that shit offline somewhere, all of their inane conversation and nonsense is cutting into my blog reading time***, geez.... (Jumping off of my soapbox, the air is thin up here and I got COPD, asthma, and shit.......) So to our semi-faithful readers (lol) tell us about your meetings or how you cope with it all?

Go Team!

*patience: In his Devil's Dictionary Ambrose Bierce describes patience as 'a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue'.
** manager (except me): an idiot with *unearned pride
*** ...cutting into my blog time...

7/30/08

T 2U: i also want a cookie for not telling my boss to his face he was stupid
Alise: you get a cupcake for that shit
T 2U: had to bite my tongue, literally
T 2U: and i just said that the concept didnt align for its purpose
Alise: nice !
T 2U: but if course u know he didnt get it
T 2U: lol
Alise: that's how stupid works
Alise: so stupid that you dont know someone is calling you stupid
T 2U: ha!
T 2U: so true
T 2U: and then after all that, he cut into my blogging time
T 2U: and thats just wrong

Now this is a cool ass meeting! CMB! CMB!: