Under the Influence: Vodka & Tonic

Alise loves cocktails and wine, so this week we will explore the theme of alcoholic beverages. We will relate them to life in some sort of way. Some funny, some serious, some completely abstract... you know how we do... first round on me:

2 oz vodka
3 - 5 oz tonic water

Pour vodka into a highball glass over ice cubes, and fill with tonic water. Stir, and serve.

A vodka tonic is an alcoholic drink made with varying proportions of vodka and tonic water. Vodka tonics are frequently garnished with a slice of lime. Anyone who knows me well knows this is my favorite alcoholic drink. I think I resemble this drink. I know, I am not transparent. Not literally or figuratively, so that is not where the resemblance lies. I am like this lovely vodka tonic that is calling me from the page (don't judge me) in the following ways:

• I am wonderful when mixed with high quality ingredients, it is then that I am a fabulous drink. In fact you don;t even recognize the taste, good quality vodka is flavorless. I make everyone feel all nice and tipsy and warm even if they don't know I'm there.

i.e. Ketel One & Tonic

• I am horrid when mixed with cheap ingredients. Throw some negative energy, wack people, or some hardship and I am a terrible drink. I'll get the job done, but I will leave a wake of headaches and a bad taste in your mouth. It is not pretty, just ask Tiha...

i.e. Aristocrat & Tonic

• I go down smooth. If you know me, you will see that I am a peacemaker. I am seldom argumentative (unless pushed to the limit, see "Aristocrat & Tonic"), never yell, and a lot nicer than Tiha. (She is going to kill me... literally, HELP, she might kill me) I treat people fairly and stay calm, cool, and collective.
  
• I am a classic yet overlooked drink. You may ignore me, but I am not any less fabulous because of... and it's your loss.

In the bar of life would you order me a Vodka & Tonic?

Oxy and Morons

I think I have entered another dimension, truly we are in our last days. I keep having experiences that are out of this world, hot oxymoronic otherwordly weirdness (click for example) . Remember yesterday I told you about the thuggery in the LIBRARY... well last night I saw someone studying at the bar. Not a restaurant that happened to have a bar, not an oxygen bar, not a salad bar, not a candy bar.... it was at a sports bar/pool hall. I am chilling at the bar drinking my Heineken (it was the special, yay-ee-yay!) with my homegirl Curly. We are playing the most addictive bar game in history. (see pic at the end) Out of my good ol' peripheral I spy a chick with index cards on the bar. Curly shouts "Oh shit, is that a trivia game??!! Sweet!" the chick responds, "No, these are flash cards, I take the GRE tomorrow. Pray for me y'all!" *awkward pause* I say "Ummmm, uh-ruh-yeah, good luck with that." Who studies at the bar? No really, who does that? I am going to pray for her, but not for the test, I pray for her sobriety and wish real hard that her family does an an Intervention so I can see it on A&E and say, "Ooooooh I know her!" I had to share this with you guys beause it bugged me out... Have a great weekend!

*this game is electric crack*