Suess Deez: There's a Wocket in my Pocket

There’s a Wocket in My Pocket
A little boy talks about what strange creatures live in his house, such as the yeps on the steps, the nooth grush on his toothbrush, the yottle in the bottle and the jertain in the curtain.
editors note: They edited the book to take out some of the scarier creatures, boo them.


Ladies and Gentlemen and thugs, lets just take a moment to keep it real. We all have wockets in our pockets, some yeps, nooths, and yottles. We all have aspect of our personalities that we are proud of and some that we are not. When interacting with people, we can have the good ones show up, and place the bad ones away for awhile. However I caution all of you, when entering into a relationship with someone, (yeah I took it there) I think that all of your wockets, yeps and yottles need to come on downstairs and be introduced. You can’t hide them! They will always come out, eventually, and you don’t want their coming out party signify the end of your relationship. You need to know up front if your wocket will get along with your partner’s yep. Its just good business all around.

So to strengthen my relationship with my readers, I would like all of you to meet my Wocket.

*passing Ms. Wocket the mic , Wocket says “have you guys been totally honest with your partners in revealing yourself? If not did it end up biting you in the end? Because I bite!”

Thank you Ms. Wocket. Please answer her question, I have to live with her…

Keep in mind that I'm an artist....

"....and I'm sensitive 'bout my sh*t...." -Erykah Badu

Have you ever dated an artist and have been puzzled about some of their habits or tendencies? Are you an artist and can't understand why your non-artist mate (or ex-mate likely) didn't get you? Well have no fear, Ms. Naturally Alise is here to enlighten you and sh*t. It's what I do. Wu-Tang AND Alise is for the kids Here we go:

• Artists are "moody". Look at Tiha. Actually, I think moody is not a good word, so I think I will make one up to add to my personal lexicon. It's what I do. Let's say moodrospective... yeah, I like that. A mix of moody and introspective. A lot of times artists, particularly writers get into a zone and fixate on an idea and forget about being civil, polite, thoughtful, etc... Trust me, 87.7 %* of the time it is not personal. (that's an exact percentage, I interviewed Tiha, the E-posse, the mailman, and my cousin June Bug) Also keep in mind that a lot of artists are stuck in jobs completely opposite of what they really want to do and are therefore not happy in their current situation, that will make anyway a handfull. Look at Tiha (and me, le sigh...).

• Artists tend to be big flirts, but usually it unconscious. Usually an artist is having to peddle their own wares, so they are CONSTANTLY having to sell themselves (not literally you gutter dwellers) and push their product. Unless of course you are a subpar rapper with big budget promotion and an legion of ass kissers entourage . The phrase starving artist is uttered for a reason. (Dang, I am hungry as a hostage) So to deal with an artist you have to check your petty insecurities and jealousies at the door with your fancy Triple Fat Goose coat. Also you may have to pick up the check sometimes... hi-yoooooooo... I am corny, I know, it is an art.

• Artists need alone time. If you are overly needy don't date anyone until you get your self esteem together an artist. Especially when we are feeling moodrospective (see I used it already!), sometimes we just need our space, time to breathe, and be creative, like I said, "don't take it personal, take the bitter with the sweet, easy come, easy goooo... " (sorry had a Jermaine Jackson moment, that NEEEEEVVVVVER happens...).

• Artists need their egos stroked, yet, we do not want to be patronized, we want you to mean it, or at least make it believable. Yet, the funny thing is we will never accept the compliment. Example, my significant other will tell me a poem of mine is great, and I'll say something like, "Well it's okay, you REALLY like it?" ,"What lil' ol' me?," or "Ummmm, I guess, I've done better." Even though we will treat every compliment this way, keep on giving them, we really do like to hear it.

• Also to piggyback with the ego stroking ....... "I be stroking, that's what I be doin'". (Sorry, had a Clarence Carter moment, that happens ALL the time). Sorry, I lost my train of thought, you know I have no attention span, thanks a lot twitter. But no really, we also like you to ask about our art. Nothing makes us feel better than a genuine interest in what we have going on. Whether it is going to a show, asking about a painting, bringing up a chapter you like in our book, or humming a song we composed, it is always a plus.
  

That's what I've got for now, do you have any tips for dealing with artists, or if you are an artist what have you dealt with in relationships?

...discuss...

*zipping thru to add my 1.5 ¢, this also applies to friendships. if you are friends with an artist, i sure hope you are low maintenance because low is how much tolerence they have for people who take their attention away from their art... -eysqueen

CC Relationships

Today I want to talk about relationships. When you are in a relationship, a long term relationship to be precise, it is understood that at least one person is going to grow. And if the relationship intends to continue, the relationship will have to grow with the people involved. Some grow faster than others, and a long term relationship has to be flexible enough to grow and move as the people move into the next phases of their lives. In an ideal situation, both people are growing around the same time, in the same direction.
With this definition of relationship growth understood, we here at Cubicle Crusaders have an announcement:

WE ARE GROWING!

We started this blog as a way to vent about our current circumstances. As with life and relationships, our circumstances have changed, which we were hoping for to begin with. We began the practice of speaking what we want into being. The good and the bad. We have been very careful when outlining our dreams and goals for this main reason and we are daily surprised when a wish comes true. So now it is time to unveil the next phase of our journey:

The Latte Mug!

We are shedding the shackles of the cube. We never wanted to be here, and we never intended to stay. Although only one of us has successfully (forcefully) made it out of the cube, both of our minds have virtually left the cube building. And we want you guys to meet us where we are, instead of reflecting on where we were. We are in the latte mug, chilling. We will explain, in detail, what it looks like from where we are, and we are inviting you to join us. So please be patient as we pack our boxes full of insightful experiences to take with us, and pack up some trash bags full of needless crap to leave behind. The Latte Mug only has room for wind to blow us up and closer to our dreams, not cement bricks to weight us down during our journey.

Stay Tuned!!!!

Red Flags and Relationships

*PSA from Naturally Alise: Red flags even pop up in what seems like paradise, so we don't pay attention, but sometimes you have to grab the white flag and cut somebody your losses.*

Often in a group of friends we sit around and listen to everyone’s progress report of their dating lives. We share our experiences in an effort to get a cosign on our asinine behaviors. Every so often someone will tell a story riddled with red flags. The friends start to make mental bets as to how long the dating/relationship will last, and once the storyteller is gone, they start to anti up. As outsiders looking in, of course we can spot a red flag a mile away, its not so easy when you’re in the thick of it, but its not impossible either. Your friends may warn you, may point out the red flags to you, and you probably wont listen, I mean a big part of living is making mistakes right? (sarcasm)
Anywho, to bring this theme back to the cube, when we see things on the job with our employer that are kind of suspect, what do we do? Can we just walk away from the job red flag warnings? Can we work with the red flags, as we do with doomed-from-the-start-relationships, in hopes that things will change, just for us? Do we allow our friends to pass the pot, ante up, on the length of time for a doomed job, and then take that pot to finance our unemployment?